I Can't Use A Tampon

[Moxy1984]

Alright so, I need help, big time. My 4th of July has been ruined, due to the fact that I can't insert a tampon. I keep being told to put my finger up there, but part of me is kinda freaked out to do so. When I try to normally insert a tampon, it seems to hit a wall, and it hurts a bit if I try to put it any further. It really makes me frustrated. What should I try and do?

[Amanda F]

Hi A.Fiend1983, and welcome to the boards.

That does sound frustrating - I'm sorry your day had been ruined. Let's see if we can figure this out together.

Another user just recently asked the same exact question, and we talked about it in this thread here. Would you give this thread a read and let me know what you think? Maybe some of the suggestions there can help. viewtopic.php?f=9&t=10154

Putting your finger in your vagina to start is a common piece of advice because it can help you figure out why the tampon feels like it's hitting a wall. Sometimes that "wall" feeling might be because you're not quite in the right spot; sometimes it can be because you're very tight and not relaxed enough. Using your finger, which allows you to feel how tight you are and whether you're in the right spot, can be a useful first step. Can I ask why you're a feeling freaked out to try with a finger first?

[Moxy1984]

I have read that other thread before, and I've tried many different positions when it comes to it. I've never placed my finger in my vagina before (I've never masturbated before, and haven't really seen to do it, even when I am aroused. I've never had sex before either), and I think I'm just afraid to, because I've never done it. I tried, but didn't get very far with it. I just want to get over this dumb fear, and be able to insert a tampon, as I find it more practical and more efficient for your period, and I've been using pads for years.

[Sam W]

Hi A.Fiend1983,

So, there are a few things that could help you get used to inserting your finger and then a tampon. One is to use lube, as it can decrease discomfort when trying to insert your finger in a non-aroused moment. Another is to, as Alexa mentioned in that other thread, try to relax as much as possible; when we're tense, getting things into the vaginal canal can be really uncomfortable.

Too, it may also help to remind yourself as you're doing it that nothing bad is going to happen if you insert your finger. It may be uncomfortable (and if your usually wear your nails longer, you may want to trim them to avoid small cuts) but just inserting your finger isn't going to cause long term damage or some other disastrous outcomes.

Do any of those ideas seem worth a try?

[Moxy1984]

I think that the thing is that I cannot get myself relaxed no matter what, even to put my finger inside. I get very panicked, and usually cry after a few attempts. All I really have to do is learn to relax, with both my finger and my tampon, so I don't know what to do.

[Mo]

Taking slow, deep breaths really can help the body relax; I feel like I roll my eyes when people say that, but then when I do make myself slow down and do some deep relaxation breathing it usually does help. So giving yourself time to breathe, and maybe even doing a little guided relaxation exercise where you tense and relax your muscles, may help. Using lube as noted above and perhaps getting some latex or rubber gloves so your finger feels smoother and easier to insert may be helpful as well.