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When I masturbate I cannot cum

Hi Paul,

When you're masturbating does it generally feel pretty pleasurable? And when you're masturbating, is your brain engaged as well as your body?

Sam W wrote:Hi Paul,

When you're masturbating does it generally feel pretty pleasurable? And when you're masturbating, is your brain engaged as well as your body?

It does feel pleasurable but after I become erect the pleasure completely stops. getting it erect isn’t that pleasurable. But once it starts it really is great. I try to engage my brain but it’s difficult sometimes. I watch content that turns me on. Sometimes though that doesn’t work. I try to fantasize most of the time that does it, but sometimes just isn’t enough.

Also the fear of someone walking in sometimes hurts my mojo. Also sometimes I think of how people in my life would feel if they knew I masturbate. That completely kills my mojo.

Being worried that someone might walk in can certainly make it harder to enjoy masturbation. Are you able to masturbate somewhere private? Or is there basically always a risk of someone walking in on you?

Can you say a little more about what you fear people might feel if they knew you masturbated? Do you worry they'd think it was wrong, or gross?

Too, it can help to remember that sometimes our brains and bodies just won't be in the mood to masturbate. When that happens, it helps to stop and come back later, rather than try to keep going with something that doesn't feel great.

Sam W wrote:Being worried that someone might walk in can certainly make it harder to enjoy masturbation. Are you able to masturbate somewhere private? Or is there basically always a risk of someone walking in on you?

Can you say a little more about what you fear people might feel if they knew you masturbated? Do you worry they'd think it was wrong, or gross?

Too, it can help to remember that sometimes our brains and bodies just won't be in the mood to masturbate. When that happens, it helps to stop and come back later, rather than try to keep going with something that doesn't feel great.

Honestly, I can masturbate somewhere private my room, but there’s always a risk of someone hearing me or walking in as my house is very very small. While some members do respect knocking many others do not. There are always people going in & out of my house.

My fear if people know I masturbate is my parents would look at me differently. It’s not that they thinks its wrong, but they see masturbation as the first step to promiscuity. Like something came up when my parents found out a friend of mine masturbated, and they said he would be sexually active soon. And they do view having teen sex as wrong, so masturbation is a big deal as they see it as the first step. Like they think it’s gross and sexual

It can be really frustrating if other people in your house don't respect a closed door and wait for an answer before barging in! If you are able to lock your door, that might be one option; otherwise it may be easiest to wait until it's late enough that other people have gone to bed before masturbating, if that works for your schedule. If you have a bathroom that you don't share with any or very many people, you may find the shower to be a good place for masturbating, but that may also depend on your bathroom-sharing situation or the physical location of the bathroom itself.

It's too bad that your parents think masturbation means you're going to become sexually active soon. It's a sexual activity, sure, but it isn't gross and it's a different kind of sex than sex with a partner; plenty of people will masturbate before they have sex with another person, but that's kind of like saying many people will swim in a pool before they swim in the ocean. One doesn't necessarily lead to the other!