Crushes and LDRs

[Ciaraj]

SO I think I have a crush on my friend, but the thing is we don't live nearby. A few years ago we met at school and went to school together, although we both moved away at the end of the year, both to different places. We didn't really become close friends until this year since we mostly knew each other through our mutual friends. Recently though, we've gotten closer. We call pretty often and laugh and just chat, but we also joke with each other a lot. The other day I was like "I'm showering now bye" and she was like "dang, without me?" So we joke about like.. sex and stuff a lot with each other, but we also send each other cute and sweet things (memes, positive messages) etc. Im flirting but idk if she's flirting or just assuming I'm joking. Also we say i love you a lot, but we both say that to all of our friends so i dunno. So I really like her and I have no idea if she's flirting with me!! All our friends always saying "shut up and just date already!" Or speculate we are dating since we do act like a couple apparently? And augh. I really like her but idk if she likes me back, and idk how to confess my feelings if I decide to? Since we don't live near each other anymore? And if we did end up dating it'd be a ldr until we get to college, hopefully the same one! But I'm fine with LDRs but I also just an wondering if it's okay to start a relationship as an LDR rather than one turning into a LDR...? Sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense!!!

[Alexa]

Hey Ciaraj,

First of all, let me congratulate you on finding a flirtation opportunity in quarantine! That's a feat.

Of course, I don't know her and can't come to any definitive conclusions about whether she's flirting with you or not. But if I boil it down, it looks like our questions are -- can you/how would you share your feelings, and is it okay to start a long-distance-relationship when you're physically separated. In short, my answers are, yes feelings! Yes to LDRs! But I will try to put something more helpful together

The only way to know whether these feelings are reciprocal is to be honest with this person about your *own* feelings, so I tend to be team "tell her." Just make sure that you're sharing your feelings without setting expectations for her response! That can be hard if things don't happen the way that you think they will. As for how to do it, we are always down to help you make a pro/con list or work through ideas that you have!

And as for starting an LDR -- it's not uncommon for folks to begin LDRs when they are already stationed in different home bases. I think you have an advantage, too, because you've spent time together in person before and have a good sense for who each other are 1-on-1. Anything that makes you both feel good is "okay!"