Hello!
With quarantine, I've been taking the time to explore and talk to other about kinkier activities remotely, which is nice! However, with everything about this pandemic being unknown to a degree, Sometimes I get hopeless and think "If I might not make it to the end of this, then I might as well do these things now; I don't want to regret not doing something." This is a weird thought, because I don't actually want to socialize with people without distancing but I also don't like masturbating much anymore despite switching things up and my antidepressants make orgasms difficult. I know we are all struggling with not physically interacting with others, but I didn't think I would get like this! I wouldn't call it an anxiety but more like a strong worry based on how I feel.
I guess what I'm trying to ask is: how do I manage this impulse to be reckless? I'm embarassed to even tell my therapist. Is an "intimacy bubble" with people I'm not living with realistic? Thanks for your help :)
worrying and impulses
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Sam W
- previous staff/volunteer
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- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
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- Sexual identity: queer
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Re: worrying and impulses
Hi Ummmm,
I feel you on those sudden burst of wanting to be impulsive; I think the pandemic lasting as long as it has really does feed that frustration of "I just want to DO THINGS." The first step in managing impulses like that is to recognize them for what they are; impulses. We don't give in to every one of our impulses because some of them put us or others in harms way. One of the crummy things about the pandemic is that it's put so much of life into that category, so once-normal wants suddenly feel like dangerous impulses. Something that's actually helped me with them is to find relatively safe ways of introducing novelty into my life. Would you like to brainstorm some ways of doing that?
With sexual desire specifically, can you give me a sense of what things you've experimented with to switch things up during masturbation? I have some ideas of things you could try but don't want to accidentally suggest ones you already have. And have you mentioned the sexual side effects of your meds to your therapist?
Speaking of your therapist, can I ask what's making you feel embarrassed about bringing up this topic with her?
I feel you on those sudden burst of wanting to be impulsive; I think the pandemic lasting as long as it has really does feed that frustration of "I just want to DO THINGS." The first step in managing impulses like that is to recognize them for what they are; impulses. We don't give in to every one of our impulses because some of them put us or others in harms way. One of the crummy things about the pandemic is that it's put so much of life into that category, so once-normal wants suddenly feel like dangerous impulses. Something that's actually helped me with them is to find relatively safe ways of introducing novelty into my life. Would you like to brainstorm some ways of doing that?
With sexual desire specifically, can you give me a sense of what things you've experimented with to switch things up during masturbation? I have some ideas of things you could try but don't want to accidentally suggest ones you already have. And have you mentioned the sexual side effects of your meds to your therapist?
Speaking of your therapist, can I ask what's making you feel embarrassed about bringing up this topic with her?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.