Scarleteen

I'm 14, and I'm horny all the time, I want to watch porn but I feel guilty after, I try to masturbate to fantasies but that just doesn't work, I've heard you should feel guilty or ashamed after watching it but my head just can't accept that fact, any advice on what I should do?

Hi UnderSkrt,

There's no one, specific way everyone feels about porn, nor is there one way someone is "supposed" to feel about it. Some people love it, some people hate it, some people use it occasionally, some feel it's not for them, and so on. We actually have a a whole article about making sense of porn: Making Sense of Sexual Media.

Too, at 14, technically places that produce or host porn aren't going to be accessible to you. So, it may be helpful for now to focus on using other things to masturbate. You mention fantasies don't seem to work for you. Can you say a little more about why that us?

Sam W wrote:Hi UnderSkrt,

There's no one, specific way everyone feels about porn, nor is there one way someone is "supposed" to feel about it. Some people love it, some people hate it, some people use it occasionally, some feel it's not for them, and so on. We actually have a a whole article about making sense of porn: Making Sense of Sexual Media.

Too, at 14, technically places that produce or host porn aren't going to be accessible to you. So, it may be helpful for now to focus on using other things to masturbate. You mention fantasies don't seem to work for you. Can you say a little more about why that us?

it just doesn't feel real enough if that makes sense, its hard to explain, it just doesnt help me feel the same way I feel about real people

Hi UnderSkrt,

I think I understand what you're saying, but correct me if I'm wrong: Porn is stimulating in a different way than fantasizing in your head. Porn is a performance, often by professional actors, and it's often pretty visually/aurally intense. Fantasizing may not reach that same level of intensity. Is that right?

How does that relate to how you feel about real people?

(Just as an aside, it's interesting that you say fantasizing "doesn't feel real enough." Porn is pretty fake! It's exciting, but also important to remember that what you see on screen is very much NOT how "real" sex often looks or sounds. Porn can give us really unrealistic expectations of what sex is like, how we should behave, and how we treat our partners. The article that Sam linked above talks more about that.)