Scarleteen

So, I consider myself straight, and up until this point in my life don’t think I have had any sexual feelings towards guys. But recently I’ve been experimenting with a male friend. I’m 14 and he is 17. It started one day when he admitted to me that he’s gay. I told him I support him and he said I’m the only one who knows. We’re both very open and honest with each other, and always go to each other for advice and personal help. After he came out to me and I told him we were still friends, he admitted that he wanted to experiment with me. I didn’t know how to respond at first but he told me that there was no pressure for me to like it or do it ever again. We ended up making out. Since then we have experimented in other ways, and I have somewhat enjoyed it because all of these experiences are new for me, but I’m worried he will want to date or won’t be able to remain just friends with me. I don’t have feelings for him in that way but now we have gotten extremely close and intimate. Is it a bad idea for us to keep doing stuff? How can I tell him that I’m pretty sure I’m still straight and don’t want to date him?

Hi adamthatcher65,

Before we touch on what to do now, can you tell me a little about what your thought process was when agreeing to experiment with him that first time? Was it something you were genuinely curious about or interested in trying? Did you talk about things like boundaries at all before you started? And did he only bring it up once, or did he keep mentioning it until you agreed to try it?

I think it's also time to check in with each other about how you're each feeling and what, if anything, you're each expecting from this. That will give you a chance to say what you need to and him a chance to share how he's feeling. Do you feel comfortable having that kind of conversation with him?