Scarleteen

Hi. I’m really paranoid about my well-being right now. I lost my virginity three days ago and the person was not aware of the fact that I was a virgin. I am 20 years old so I thought it would be weird if I told him the truth. It was very painful in the beginning for about 3-4 minutes. But then it felt good. I also bled a lot and I have been noticing blood spots on my panties ever since. I am really confused. My hymen is definitely torn but why would I bleed for 3 days straight? Could there be any injuries? I am also supposed to get my period in 6 days.

Hey there, bean, welcome to the boards.

Whatever form the hymen/corona is in with vaginal intercourse -- be it the first time or the 21st -- tearing is not actually normal with consensual sex. Instead, it most often very gradually wears away over decades. Can I ask why you think that you have a tear of your hymen, specifically? Is this something you're seeing with a mirror and where the bleeding appears to be coming from?

I'm sorry that you didn't feel able to tell your partner about it being your first time, about the pain you were having, or any other kind of basic sexual communication. Please know for all future next times that we really don't want to just bear sexual pain when it happens: instead, we want to try and figure out why it's happening and then do something so it feels good instead of being painful. We can talk about what those fixes usually are, if you like.

Hi, thank you so much for your prompt reply!!
I looked in the mirror and saw a thin membrane at the lower section of the vaginal opening. The light spotting has not stopped yet. In addition to this, I also think during the intercourse I wasn’t lubricated enough and my partner had a hard time putting it in. I just wanna make sure that it is nothing serious. Thank you for your time!!

That membrane: it looked different than your vaginal opening usually has before? And did it look torn?

Besides the spotting, anything else going on? Fever, cramping, anything like that? I don't suppose that you can sort out if the spotting is coming from your vaginal opening or inside the vagina? One way to tell that sometimes if you're having a hard time is just to press a few squares of toilet paper folded together against the whole of your vulva, and look at the print it makes.

I'm so sorry you had this experience. It sounds really crummy, and I'm sorry most of all you didn't feel able to say anything, including about needing lubrication. Do you want to talk about that so that things can go much differently for you with any sexual next times?

It looked way different than before that’s when I knew it was torn.
Nothing else is going besides the light spotting. I just feel unusually tired and moody. I suppose it’s coming from the vaginal opening. How long will it take to heal? Is there anything I should do to speed up the healing process?

Okay. So, it may be that your vaginal opening itself is torn or the hymen. It’d be impossible for anyone but a healthcare provider who could see you in person to say.

The moodiness is most likely due to your impending period, not this. In terms of caring for this, you just want to keep from intercourse or any other kind of contact with it and leave it be. I’d use pads this period, too, not tampons or a cup.

You can take sits baths (https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/sitz-bath) to help soothe the area, and if you have 100% aloe gel, not the kind with alcohol or other additives, that can help soothe and heal, too.

If the spotting doesn’t stop in the next few days, I would suggest seeing a healthcare provider.

Then we’re going to want to talk about future prevention so this doesn’t keep happening. Down for that?