Scarleteen

I'm a 13 year old boy and I masturbate regularly and lately I have been masturbating to my male friends but I also masturbate to my female friends and other females to. I never have any intention of asking out or being with a male and don't think I ever will, What should I do?
Trent

Hey trentboi123,

I know there's a lot of social pressure to define your sexuality, but I would encourage you to see what attracts you and what feels good without pressuring yourself to decide *right now* what your sexuality really is. In my experience, defining my sexuality has come more naturally when I just let the pressure go for a bit and see what I'm naturally drawn to. You don't have to have an answer right now!

Do you wanna tell me a bit about why you feel pressured to understand your sexuality right now? Do you feel like you need to be one thing or the other?

Idk
I just think that I am starting to look for someone to be with me and someone to love and trust. I just think I am mature enough to handle that and a-lot of peers think that I am a maturity level of a 14 year old.

Hi trentboi123,

I wonder, would it help to think of understanding your sexual orientation and exploring your first romantic relationships as things that happen at the same time, rather than as things that have to happen in a specific order? You're at an age where one is likely to give you clues to the other. For instance, who you get a crush on my give you information about your orientation. Does that all make sense?

If you're looking for more general information on things that can help you work out your orientation, this article has a lot of useful advice: The Rainbow Connection: Orientation for Everyone.

It kinda make sense, I have a crush but I don't know if she likes me or not and I dont want to get rejected if I tell her.

It can certainly be stressful to not know if a crush likes you back, but at a certain point the only way to find out their feelings (and let them know yours) is to talk with the about it. If you'd rather avoid that and just ride the crush out instead (crushes generally fade over time), then that's a choice you get to make. You may also want to check out this article for some advice: Puppy Love: The Do's & Don'ts of Crushes (With Help from a Very Small Dog).

Agree with all the comments above, don't pressure yourself yet to know more of your current orientation. Instead, like what you said that you have a crush on a girl, let that be your starting point to know yourself better. Let yourself feel being in love and I'm sure that everything will follow through and in time, you will then know your true preference.

ok thank you so much