Scarleteen

I need advice. I am a bisexual girl. I am 27 years old. I have never kissed anyone or dated anyone before. I'm starting to be interested in dating. I really want a girlfriend. I have no friends.

I am currently living with my mom and sisters. They are very homophobic. My family are Christians.

I am very scared to come out to them as bisexual now because when I was in high school I had came out as a lesbian. Things didn't go well. My mom was extremely angry at me and she never believed me. My sister still bullies me about it almost every day. It makes me really depressed.

How can I start dating girls without my family knowing? How can I stay safe when online dating?

In the future if I ever met someone how could I meet in person? I have no way of meeting anyone because I don't know how to drive and I don't have a car.

I have no friends. I don't know anyone who is a lesbian or bisexual and I feel really alone all the time.

I am an extremely shy person. I have trouble keeping friends even online friends. How can I make friendships that last?

Do you have any advice for me?

Hi shypixie,

I'm so sorry your family is unsupportive and that you're feeling so isolated right now. How about we start by brainstorming ways for you to connect with other LGBT folks, even if it's just online for now (since the pandemic means avoiding in-person interaction when possible)? That could both help you feel less alone, and introduce to people who could become friends or even partners.

It may not be doable right this moment, but would it also help to brainstorm ways that you could get out of your living situation as soon as possible? You deserve to live in a space where you feel safe being yourself and where someone isn't bullying you every day.

If you want some basic tips or staying safe while forming online relationships, this is a great place to start: Getting Real: Relationships on the Net

I can commiserate with you shypixie. Its very difficult making and keeping friends. Especially online ones. There's some statistic out there that speech and written word is only a small percent of human communication, which makes everything hard, especially now. You shouldn't be in a living situation where you feel bullied or harassed by anyone. Especially your family. Religion is no basis for prejudice. As a devout protestant I can tell you on no uncertain terms that his disciples have the right to choose which of his children he loves. Everyone deserves love. Sorry, that got a little religiousy

I can't give you a lot of advice on how to make friends or how to get a relationship. I have none myself. I can however let you know that I will always be willing to support any member of this community if they need it, and if you ever need to talk, I'm right here. I wish you luck.