Scarleteen

As a transguy I struggle a lot dealing with my genitals, especially when it comes to staying clean and healthy down there. I feel really uncomfortable with shaving and hear a lot of bad things about it however I find that my pubes get stuck places without me realising or that discharge gets stuck in them that is difficult to get out. I feel dirty and disgusting and like I'm not taking care of myself but that I can't do anything about it. I'll look and feel horrible if I try getting rid of my pubes (and potentially get hurt using scissors or razors near my area) but I can't go get it done professionally still having them getting caught inside my area or with bits stuck in them. I feel like there's nothing I can do and no matter how much I try to deal with the problem myself trying to clean normally it won't stop and I'm scared it's going to get worse.

Hey there. Sorry to hear this is so difficult for you.

I’d like to ask a couple clarifying questions: is that okay? If so, anything you want me to steer clear of that isn’t pretty obvious?

Hi, thank you for checking first! I'm happy for you to mention anything you feel necessary, as much as I hate my body the way it is now I need to know how to take care of it properly, there's nothing off the top of my head that I feel I need to steer clear of for now.

Sure thing.

So, can you tell me how much or how little genital touching works for you as far as hygiene goes? Like, are you able to comfortably touch that part of your body enough to wash yourself with water while showering or bathing, or no? Can you touch your pubic hair for a little bit without it being too uncomfortable?

And when you say pubes are getting stuck in things, do you mean things like zippers, where it's causing you pain?

I try to do as little touching as possible down there but I will do as much as possible to get clean. I'll wash with water and sometimes specialist products like Femfresh or other PH free soaps and try to shift things around to make sure I'm cleaning the outside properly.

My pubes tend to get caught between folds or slightly inside my vagina without me realising which means they're more likely to get discharge stuck in them that's more difficult to get out. I try to keep them neat and trimmed but I don't do a very good job of it, the closer I get to my genitalia the more scared I get of hurting myself with my scissors or razor.

I hear you.

So, one option instead trimming more closely or shaving is to use an oil on your pubes -- like coconut, almond or olive. Doesn't need to be anything fancy, just something basic and safe for skin, hair, and genitals. If you oil that hair just a little bit after you bathe, it'll make discharges slide off it more and less likely to harden on them. It also keeps the hair silkier, so it can kind of swirl together a little more sometimes, which can also help it get stuck in things, including folds, a little less.

That might work paired with some basic trimming that doesn't ask you to get too up close and personal?

That sounds like an amazing idea, I never realised that was a possibility!

If it winds up being something you like and works for you, there are also a couple of fancy pre-made brands of pubic/body hair oils out and about in the world, too, I kid you not. . Hope it helps! If not, happy to help you keep trying to hack it.

Thank you so much for your help!

Of course. It's really tough feeling uncomfortable in one's own skin. Hope it gets better for you. <3