Scarleteen

I'm 15 and haven't been in a serious relationship all my life. I just got out of what I thought was going to become something real, but it turns out they were leading me on the whole time. I still love them and part of me can't move on, but part of me is a horny teenager that just wants to feel loved, and to have sex.

I don't feel particularly unattractive. I don't look in the mirror and wish I looked all that different. I feel like I have a good personality and that I'm generally kind, thoughtful, and funny. Regardless, even when I look for relationships, which is relatively often, from anything to hard commitment to a casual fuck, I just come up blank, and feel sad and embarrassed. So not to be egotistical, but what's the deal? What's so bad about me, or what's that good feature I'm missing, that no one seems to like? What do I need to do to find love?

I think one of the toughest things about relationships is that so much about finding a romantic partner comes down to pure, unpredictable luck. There are plenty of amazing people that can take a while to find a partner without that reflecting any fault or problem that they're having; sometimes people don't have a large pool of potential partners to choose from, or they wind up in situations where the people they're attracted to aren't into them and vice versa, among other things.

I don't want to downplay the sadness or frustration you're feeling about this; that's a totally valid way to feel. But not finding a relationship so far doesn't mean that something's wrong with you. Right now, too, many people are finding it very difficult to find or form new relationships because the pandemic is making in-person socialization unsafe, and many places where folks might meet potential partners, like schools or social events, aren't meeting in person at the moment. That may be part of the difficulty you're feeling right now.