Unable to orgasm

[Lozza223]

This is going to be a long one...
Firstly I’m so glad I have found this platform as I have been in the dark and extremely frustrated with myself for years now. I’m 19 years old and have never achieved orgasm or any form of climax, I’ve had two sexual partners and neither have managed to make me climax. I discovered masturbating from a very young age and maybe that has been the cause of this issue...but no matter how much I try I cannot orgasm, I have purchased vibrators and googled what to do and it seems like I get very close but never achieve it, almost like hitting a brick wall. I find oral sex with clitoral stimulation really pleasurable but I have not been able to orgasm from it.. Currently due to the virus I feel like I cannot go to my doctor about this because it’s not a pressing matter and right now In England due to COVID you cannot see a doctor unless it is an emergency. But I try almost every night and achieve nothing. Recently I thought I was about to orgasm when actually it made me wee myself, and I’m 100% sure it was urine as it smelt and had the consistency of urine. As for penetrative sex, it just doesn’t feel like much.
just feel a little lost overall because I really want to be able to enjoy my sex life as much as I can because I know that sex can be a wonderful thing. This is something that has been in the back of my head for quite some time. I have tried doing plenty of research in search of help with problems but I haven’t been successful yet. I am so glad I have found this platform so that I can seek advice for my specific issues.

So I guess my main questions are...

How can I make penetrative sex more pleasurable?
What can I do to achieve orgasm?
How do I stop feeling like there is something wrong with me?
Could it be because I’ve been masturbating from a young age and have been on the pill since 14? Have I broken myself?

[Sofi]

Hi Lozza223, and welcome to the boards!
I want to start off by saying there is definitely nothing wrong with you and what you're experiencing is more common than you'd think. Now, I know that won't necessarily make you feel better right away, but I think it's important for you to keep in mind.

To specifically answer your questions:
-There isn't a one-size-fits-all method for making penetrative sex more pleasurable, but it's all about experimenting with different things until you find what works for you. One piece of advice I'll extend is to try to involve clitoral stimulation along with penetration. You can stimulate your own clitoris with your hand, or have your partner do it, or you can use a small vibrator on it. This helps a lot of people enjoy the experience of penetrative sex more.
-Same answer as the last one but I'll add something to it: be patient. I know you've been trying for a long time, but often the more someone tries the more they stress over it which causes a mental block and makes it harder to orgasm. The more you can relax, the better. I do recommend trying more of clitoral stimulation, since most women are able to orgasm easier this way than through penetration.
-As stated previously, this is a very common concern women of all ages have. I promise there is nothing wrong with you or your body. Some people can achieve orgasm easily, for some it takes a while to get there and that's normal. To be more specific: most people with a vagina, around 70%, will never reach orgasm through penetration alone. Use this as a time to get to know your body and what it likes, and to enjoy the experience of exploration in masturbation, but don't add pressure to yourself in the process.
-Neither of these can cause you to not be able to orgasm! You're not at fault at all--again, there isn't anything wrong with you, and you've done nothing wrong either.

Here is a helpful article written by our founder Heather Corinna: When the Big O is a No-Show
Please let me know if this was helpful or if you have any more questions!