Laws on underage pictures in regards to fetishes?

[dependantdragon]

So, I have a mutual crush who I've known for a while now but we've only recently confessed that we like each other (Jan 2nd, 2021). We haven't started referring to each other as if we're in a relationship or anything yet since neither of us feels like we're in a place for that now, but we flirt and talk about stuff, and he's very understanding and supportive (even of me being non-mono, with the possibility of me wanting to date people in addition to me in the future), and I feel like I can be myself with him.
Anyway, we're both underage, but I manage a small Discord server where I allow people of all ages (so long as they're 13+, which is required to make a Discord account) to discuss things about sexuality, with lots of rules in place to keep things appropriate while making things fair. As such we discuss sexual things fairly often, as masturbating and such are healthy parts of our lives, despite us both being underage (I'm 17, he's 15). We only get to communicate online though since he lives in the UK and I live in the USA.
We both have... unorthodox sexual interests, though his are generally less inherently sexual than mine (I won't say them here because privacy, but think like, feet pics or whatever lol). I was wondering, what are the laws (in the USA) about like, pics of minors that aren't explicit but are used for, um, sexual purposes? I know it would be hard to define since technically anything can be used as masturbation material, but laws can be weird like that. I just don't want to get either of us in trouble, even though I love him and he excites me.

[Heather]

Hey there. I'm glad you found someone you feel you can connect to, especially now, of all times, when finding connection is so difficult for so many people.

So, the laws around these things aren't really about how they're used. Rather, they are mostly about the content of the images, regardless of use. While the laws aren't exactly the same from state to state, generally, if anyone is naked, or if people are showing any part of their genitals or breasts (and honestly, to play it safe, I'd include buttocks and nipples in there, too), folks can get in big trouble. And even if, say people are wearing things that cover those parts, but the image is considered to be "sexual" -- and if it was shared in a context that makes clear it was sexual or for masturbation, it'd be hard to argue it wasn't -- that can create trouble, too.

Flatly, my best advice for everyone's safety -- safety in terms of the law, but also safety in terms of predatory people, be they adults or other minors, and safety in terms of discovery of family members, etc. -- would be not to share any photos of you that aren't the kind of thing you'd put on a public Insta. It's just one of those things where the risks can be so big, and the potential consequences so devastating, that being extra cautious is the best way to go, IMHO.