Scarleteen

Hi,

I am in a difficult situation at the moment. I’ve been with my lovely partner for several years. Over time, our sex life has gone from very frequent to not frequent at all. It’s really affected our relationship, as sex is very important to making my partner feel loved.

The main problem for me is my arousal. I’ve gotten to the point where the only thing that arouses me enough to want to have sex are these fetishes I have. I would like to be able to incorporate them into sex, but I’m really upset by the fact that they’ve become the ONLY things that arouse me.

I still find my partner beautiful and attractive, but I don’t get aroused to the point of desire and wanting like I do with my fetishes. It’s difficult because I want to really enjoy sex. It feels like my fetishes are the only things that can do that. That makes me feel horrible because it seems like I don’t find my partner arousing and that I don’t want her without my fetishes. I wish I could experience the levels of arousal I feel with my fetishes for her without them.

Hi roygbiv,

It's sounds like this is causing you a lot of stress, so hopefully we can come up with some ways to address that.

To start, have you spoken about any of this with your partner? And are the fetishes you're describing things you could work into your sex life with her?