a Smörgåsbord of relationship stuff

[ralphie41]

(mods: I wanted to post this in relationships but wouldn't let me- I was on the old boards with the same handle so if you feel this topic would be better over there feel free to move it. )

So, I have been with my current boyfriend for just over 2 years, and we became long distance in september when we both went to uni. Up until about a week and a half ago, things were going pretty great - We've coped with the ldr thing fairly well as i guess we're both quite independent. It has been the easiest of terms for me either, so I'm not sure if everything I'm worried about is even a valid thing, or if it's just tiredness and hormones and stupid unbalanced brain chemicals!

It's kinda come to a crisis point for me - I'm feeling really queer atm, which obviously makes things difficult as I'm not so into sex/intimacy with bf when I'm thinking about girls a lot more. He's fine with this, and I feel i can communicate with him about not wanting sex but not the reasons why that is. I'm at the time in my life where I'd love to be experimenting, but I know that this imaginary world where I'm completely out as queer and falling seamlessly in love with this wonderful girl is just that - imaginary. I know that if I were to break up with or cheat on boyf, I'd be so guilty/sad/completely regret it and beg him to take me back.
Also, we're back at home now, and I'd have thought that he would want to see me much more, but it's always me texting first or inviting him over- I feel bad about saying anything as I know his home situation is kinda stressful but I can't get rid of the creeping thought that he doesn't want to see me because sex is off the table for the moment...

I don't really know who I can talk to about this as we're sort of the 'perfect couple', and despite the issues I really do love him. When we're together it's great, and we've worked through stuff together before, I'm just getting so insecure when I don't see him. It's so confusing as I simultaneously want the chance to be with other people and get so upset when I percieve that things are going downhill. I just don't know what to do!

Any advice/similar experiences would be great from all you lovely people x

[Heather]

Hey ralphie.

You know, what I'm hearing really seems to boil down to this:
• You are finding that in some ways your interest in your boyfriend is waning, and you feel more potentially interested in others
• He seems to be demonstrating some behaviour that suggests his interest in the relationship with you also isn't so major right now

In a word, it sounds like you both may be in similar places, even if some of your reasons are different. Is THAT something you have talked together about yet?