Ocd about contamination of sperm please help

[Supernatural]

Ive finally plucked up enough courage to reach out for help..

For the past 3 months I have lived my life in utter fear. I am a female, and I am terrified sperm is EVERYWHERE. In stores, in docters offices,ect. Just everywhere. I cant sit in a docter office chair without thinking sperm is getting on me. I cant do anything without thinking there is sperm getting on me.

I have to wash my hands before I use the bathroom in fear there is sperm on my hands when i wipe. I have to wash my hands before i shower, before i eat, ect. And if i touch somthing right after that i think has sperm on it, i have to wash my hands all over again.

Its come to the point its gotten so bad i wear 2 pairs of pants, a pad and i try not to touch anything or sit down anywhere. I change clothes all the time as well. The stress has caused weight loss, insomnia and migranes.

Please. Please help me lose this fear. I don't want to live like this anymore.

[Sam W]

Hi Supernatural,

That sounds like an incredibly stressful fear to be dealing with. Irrational fears can be exhausting at the best of times, and this one sounds like it's taking a huge toll on you.

Can you give me a sense of if you're accessing any mental health support for your OCD? If so, have you discussed this fear with them?

You also mention that this started about three months ago. Was there something, some event or incident, that you feel set this fear off?

[Supernatural]

I am not currently being treated for my ocd.

What set this fear off was a scare that I had had. A pregnancy scare. Please forgive me for mentioning a pregnancy scare in this sentence for i know the words are not allowed here. And I fear that saying this fear steamed from a pregnancy scare will knock me put of getting help here.

But this sperm contamination fear steamed from a pregnancy scare that is now over. But this fear still remains.

[Sam W]

It's okay to mention to mention past pregnancy scares, so no worries there.

Given how intense these fears are, a sounds next step would be to connect with a mental healthcare provider so you can star addressing the underlying cause of them. Do you know how to go about doing that, or are you unsure how to get started?

[Supernatural]

My mother is in the process of reaching out to a mental care provider.

But i must ask, to put my fears to ease. Is what im fearing irrational? Is this fear free of any and all risks? Hiv, stds, ect. Ect.

Im so scared ill mention somthing wrong because I know asking certain things here is not allowed. Its just this fear is so intense i had to reach out to someone. Im so sorry if anything i mentioned is not allowed here.

Of course i worry that this fear could cause/result in an unwanted pregnancy, but i know here is not the place to discuss such a thing.

Also thank you for taking time to help me.

[Sam W]

I'm glad to hear your mom is helping you find a mental healthcare provider. Do you have any idea where she is in that process? And would it be helpful to have some resources for dealing with obsessive thought patterns while you're waiting?

So you're clear, our pregnancy scare policy is about users asking us (often repeatedly) to tell them whether a certain thing posed a risk (information that is widely available on our main site), or if they were pregnant. As long as we focus on addressing the underlying causes of your fear, rather than you asking us to reassure you that something was or wasn't a risk, you should be fine.

Can you give me a sense of how much education you've had about reproduction and how it happens, including how sperm function?

Too, if STI risks are something you're also afraid of, we can discuss those with you as well.

[Supernatural]

My mothers nearly done booking me an appointment im pretty sure. And yes some resources would be lovely.

As far as education on sperm and such, the only thing im not sure about is how long it can live outside of the body on surfaces. Ive seen websites say 20 min and others say only about 2 minutes and some saying hours.

I also know from just now looking on the sites here that having pre ejaculate on your hands and touching yourself down there poses absolutely no pregnancy risk, so thats a relief knowing that trace amounts of sperm on hands that touch the vagina/go near or in the vagina poses no pregnancy risk. Which in my case, my fear is of trace amounts of sperm. So im glad i took time to look around here.

I do think i need a little more education on how pregnancy actually happens.

Because my form of birth control is abstinence. I do not have sex and i dont let penises near my vagina. I also dont allow freshly ejaculated semen or fresh pre cum near my vagina.

[Sam W]

Okay! One option would be to use an app, like this one: https://psyberguide.org/apps/nocd/ or this interactive site that uses best practices in addressing OCD: https://www.ocdchallenge.com/. This page also lists various self-help resources you can look into: https://iocdf.org/low-cost-treatment-options-for-ocd/.

We can also give you some more information on sperm. You see, sperm are actually really fragile, and they need very specific conditions in order to do what they do. You can read all about that here: Who's Afraid of Sperm Cells?. As for how pregnancy actually happens, how about you start out with this article and go from there? Human Reproduction: A Seafarer's Guide

[Supernatural]

Alright! Ill read all of them! Thank you so much.

[Sam W]

You're welcome!

[Dreamlore]

If you're still around here supernatural I'd love to know how you're doing and if you're over your fears now! I'm going through something similar and would really love to get some advice from someone who's also been through this fear <3