Masturbating reminds me I’m not like other girls

[Delta]

I’m a 16 year old trans girl and I when I masturbate I’m often left with feelings of I wish I could do it like a cis girl and I wish I knew how to have less gender dysphoria while masturbating I just really wish I could do it more like a cis girl even if I don’t have anatomy

[Delta]

I meant that anatomy not just anatomy

[Heather]

Hey, Delta. Welcome to the boards. <3

I understand what you're saying and asking about. I'm also sorry that you're having this experience: it's certainly a tough situation to be in, to be struggling to do something that's supposed to make us feel good only to find it makes you feel bad in a really deep way.

I'm happy to try and brainstorm this with you if you'd like to strategize, and we can also talk about some of these feelings. Does that sound okay?

[Delta]

I would love to try brainstorm ideas but idk where to start

[Sam W]

Hi Delta,

That's totally okay! I'm going to toss out a few ideas and we can from there, alright?

To start, have you noticed that types of masturbation where you have to see or directly touch your genitals tend to be more dysphoria-inducing for you you?

I also wonder, are there things that reduce your dysphoria in your day to day like that you could make a conscious effort to introduce into masturbation? The words you use for certain body parts (even if it's just in your own head), the clothes you wear, things like that.

[Delta]

It’s masturbation in general not just touching it and/or seeing it other than clothes and hair idk what to do to relieve dysphoria idk what I would call my genitalia other than penis there’s probably something common trans women call thier penis but idk what that is if it exists

[Sam W]

When it comes to referring to your own body parts, obviously you get to be the boss of what terminology feels the most comfortable. If you're curious, this article by a seriously awesome trans woman lists some commonly used terms that you might find helpful: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodi ... t_girldick.

Can you give me a sense of how much room you have to be out and to explore your gender expression? Experimenting with different things that might reduce dysphoria in daily life might give you some clues as to how to do so when you masturbate.