Irrational semen fears (long)

[Dreamlore]

Hi scarleteen, I apologise about posting this kind of thing again I'm just really trying to work through this horrible fear in my head and I'm trying to just get my thoughts across in a safe place!
My phobia of semen is getting really crippling; it consumes my every waking moment and can barely leave my flat! I'm obsessed with the idea that semen from one of the other residents' hands could get on the door handles in the hall here and could transfer to my hands and cause pregnancy if I go to the toilet soon after and wipe. Or a million other similar scenarios with male delivery drivers etc. I've read all the great resources on here and I do know how ridiculous it sounds and how close to impossible it would be considering all the exacting conditions pregnancy actually requires, I just can't seem to let go of the dirty feeling I get when I constantly think semen is on my hands and I'm touching things I own and contaminating them. It's the same at work and just anywhere I go that's not just me locked in my flat. No-one else would even think about stuff like this and I feel like a real freak.. getting pregnant like this is just the scariest thing that could happen to me.

Can I just confirm so it's something I can refer back to really easily when I'm panicking: Semen/sperm will ONLY be viable for 30 minutes tops outside the male or female body? And being moved around via hands or clothes will damage it beyond being capable of creating a pregnancy? And anything other than literal naked sexual contact and/or intercourse is NOT a pregnancy possibility? I know I'm reiterating a few things here but it would help to have these specific questions definitively answered in one place to ground myself when the fear gets too bad.

SO SORRY for the long post, I'm just really struggling whilst waiting for space on the therapy list I appreciate anyone taking the time to read and thank you.

[Urna]

Hey there Dreamlore,

A big YES THAT'S RIGHT! to the questions you posed. I won't go into further detail in this post, because these are all either questions we've answered before on the previous thread you started, or they're pieces of information that we gave you. Since you say that seeing the information written out calms you down: I think it would help, maybe, for you to go through our responses on that other thread again, pick out our specific answers to these questions, and maybe type them out or write them down physically in whatever order suits you (maybe in big letters, bright colours, whatever makes them emphatic), and put up that sheet of paper somewhere in your living space where you can see them whenever you're feeling scared. As you're aware, we can't keep answering the same questions over and over, although we're happy to help with other (or related) problems you're having.

I'm sorry to hear that things aren't even a little better after you read through all our resources and after the conversations we've had. As you know, getting rid of these scary thoughts regarding s*men is something only a therapist can help you do, so good luck with getting an appointment!

[Dreamlore]

Oh no I really appreciate the response and for taking the time to read, I know I'm rehashing questions already asked, and I honestly am thankful for the BIG THAT'S RIGHT confirmation haha! I have a folder on my phone filled with screenshots from the answers and articles here which I'll continue to refer to as I try to recover!!

[Heather]

Hey there, Dreamlore. I just was coming through and catching up with the boards, and I wanted to respond toi something you said here about you being a real freak.

You're not, you know. I mean, not in the derogatory sense ( I can't speak for your positive freakitude!). Not in the sense that this is something that impacts you and no one else and you're so, so weird and ugh, no one else is like this. That's a horribly isolating way to feel, and I just wanted to make sure I filled you in on a couple things that might at least help you feel less isolated in this.

Spermataphobia (fear of sperm, but sometimes also used to describe fear of germs, too) and tokophobia (fear of pregnancy) like many phobias, aren't all that uncommon. They're actually pretty common. Sometimes, in fact, they have been so pervasive they have almost literally shut this whole site down from us caving under the intense need of so many people suffering from these or other related anxieties (seriously!) and our inability to help. They're not the same as people just plain not wanting to be pregnant, for sure, or even of more benign worry, but I assure you even this level of fear isn't that uncommon. They're both often common with OCD, something that impacts around 2% of the population. That's a LOT of people. That's about as many people as are natural redheads, if you want an easy visual. That's also probably about the same number of people who are asexual. Again, in all three cases: that's a lot of people.

Other people not only would think like this, but they do. LOADS of them. I so promise that you are not alone in this. I get how this can make you *feel* -- the dirtiness and the shame -- but trust that those feelings don't reflect how or who you ARE in this, okay? <3

[Dreamlore]

Thank you so much Heather I've read through this a few times and its so kind of you, it's a very difficult and paranoid thing to work through, it impacts most of my life at this stage and I feel quite hopeless and helpless. I'm trying hard to work through it and keep the advice and support from here in mind to ground myself and calm myself down when it gets unbearable! I hope I can become more at peace soon and accept my fears and move on, thank you so much again for your lovely words