Too sensitive to orgasm

[sweet-lemonade]

Hi, I'm a female and every single time I masturbate, without fail, I get painfully sensitive before I orgasm and have to stop. I've tried multiple different things, like indirect clit stimulation and penetration but they never work since I always get too sensitive.

An important note is that when I try penetration I've noticed I can't do a whole lot - anything more than about my finger will start to burn and be uncomfortable so I have to pull it out. I mention this because it makes me wonder if I have some sort of physical issue causing this, but I'm not quite sure. I know a lot of times sexual problems are psychological, too, so I'm at a crossroads.

I'm still a virgin so I can't say it's affecting any sexual activity.

So what steps should I take? Should I see a doctor, or maybe should I try to work on penetration more and work my way up, so to speak? Or if it's a psychological thing, how can I overcome it? Thank you.

[Marisha]

Hi sweet-lemonade,

Thank you for reaching out! Let's see how we can help.

So it sounds like you're experiencing a ton of discomfort during masturbation I'm sorry that you're experiencing this. Just to make sure, have you ever successfully reached orgasm before? I'm asking just to see if we can discuss what could have possibly changed that has made it more difficult to do so.

You are correct that our bodies can experience discomfort or other physical conditions based on what's going on in our heads (which can then create a stress loop where the thing making it more difficult for you to orgasm and the difficulty itself are piling together to make your mood worse). Does this sound like what you're going through?

I want to highlight the fact that you're experiencing burning with penetration as well as hypersensitivity. Ultimately, I'm not a doctor, and I do suggest that you see one (preferably a gyno). It sounds like you could possibly be experiencing a medical issue. Let us know if you need help locating one/going over options.

[sweet-lemonade]

I've never been able to orgasm, at all. Even when I first started I had the problems I do with hypersensitivity.

I don't know if it's a mental thing for me. I often remind myself to focus on the sensation and not worry about the orgasm, but I don't know if just telling myself that actually makes a difference.

[Marisha]

Geez, well it sounds like masturbation hasn't been very fun for you! I think powering through even though you aren't enjoying it is maybe not the best thing, for your body or for your heart. I can understand wanting to do something that's known to feel good, but do you actually want to be doing this? Or are you pushing yourself through it because you feel like you have to?

[sweet-lemonade]

Actually, up until just before I orgasm, it feels great. It's like I hit a wall and it goes from pleasurable to painful within 20 seconds. I've tried to "power through" but it always becomes so uncomfortable that I have to stop. So while the start isn't "I need to do this just because", I feel like when the sensitivity kicks in it can feel as if I have to push myself to do it and fail every time, which frustrates me.

[Marisha]

That sounds frustrating

Experiencing pain during masturbation/close to orgasm is actually fairly common from what I know, but again, I have to recommend that you see a doctor for a second opinion because I can't give you medical advice, especially without knowing exactly what the issue is. Are you comfortable with doing so?

[sweet-lemonade]

Yeah, I could do that. When I go, should I say everything I said here?

[Carly]

Hey sweet-lemonade! Yep, I think all the information you've given us here is appropriate to share with a doctor. Marisha suggested seeing a gynecologist, and I agree that they would likely be the best fit for what you're experiencing. Have you ever been to one?

[glubglub]

Hi!

I dont know if you’re still around on this forum or not, but every detail of what you described is exactly the same thing that I’ve been experiencing too. If you ever ended up finding the issue or talking to a doctor about it, and if you’re comfortable with sharing, I would love it if you could tell me about it.

[Carly]

Hi glubglub, I'm glad you're able to relate to sweet-lemonade! Our users tend to pop in and pop out, so I'm not sure when she will be able to get back to you. If you want to talk about your situation more specifically, feel free to create in your own thread about it and we can talk there.