Scarleteen

I’m pansexual and genderfluid and my boyfriend is currently figuring out a label for his sexuality. His latest label is bisexual and we’re both a bit stumped because he’s attracted to me no matter what gender I am, but the label pansexual or omnisexual doesn’t vibe with him... just wondering if a person can really be bisexual if they are attracted to non-binary/genderfluid people.

Obviously whatever he labels himself as I support and love him just the same but I was just curious.

Hi Hel,

So the short answer is: yes, bisexuality can include attraction to genderfluid folks or other non-binary identities. The fight over whether or not it does comes down to some people trying to make a hard separation between bisexuality and pansexuality, or trying to insist that because of the "bi" part of bisexual, a bi person can only be attracted to two genders. But that kind of separation just doesn't reflect the way sexual orientation plays out in the world. So, if bisexual feels like the right term to your boyfriend, then nothing about it invalidates his attraction to you (or your identity).

Okay thanks! My boyfriend was confused about it too because of the people saying that the bi part only means being attracted to 2 genders. Good to know that the actual identity is more complex and this isn’t the case

You're welcome! And yeah, unfortunately the weird attempts to draw super-hard lines between identities can leave people feeling confused, which is why I'm glad you asked for clarification.