Scarleteen

So I'm 16 years old, I only just recently started trying to masturbate but whenever I do it and climax and stuff I get these lingering cramps (similar to period pains) for a good few hours and idk why, I read online you could get cramps if you feel guilty cause it could be psychological and I mean whenever I do it I kinda feel really guilty cause I mean I know it's normal but I just feel disgusting for it and idk anyways can anyone help?

Hey Flo04 - welcome to Scarleteen! Sometimes AFAB folks get cramps after orgasm because during an orgasm muscles in the pelvis and pelvic floor contract involuntarily, as does the uterus. Continued contracting after orgasming could result in cramps for a little while afterward. Also, as you pointed out, sometimes how we feel emotionally can have an impact on how we feel physically. If you're feeling guilty, I think there's a chance that's causing you to feel some additional stomach pain and cramps for so long afterward. It sounds like you know that masturbation is normal, but are still not totally comfortable with it. Has anyone ever made you feel it wasn't normal? What about masturbation makes you feel disgusting despite knowing that it's common and okay to do?

Carly wrote: ↑Wed Aug 11, 2021 8:14 am Hey Flo04 - welcome to Scarleteen! Sometimes AFAB folks get cramps after orgasm because during an orgasm muscles in the pelvis and pelvic floor contract involuntarily, as does the uterus. Continued contracting after orgasming could result in cramps for a little while afterward. Also, as you pointed out, sometimes how we feel emotionally can have an impact on how we feel physically. If you're feeling guilty, I think there's a chance that's causing you to feel some additional stomach pain and cramps for so long afterward. It sounds like you know that masturbation is normal, but are still not totally comfortable with it. Has anyone ever made you feel it wasn't normal? What about masturbation makes you feel disgusting despite knowing that it's common and okay to do?

I'm not sure I think it's just everything like I've always heard it's something that shouldn't be done and in my religion it's seen as something taboo and wrong and all of that just makes me feel really guilty for doing it and it's just I seem to be just doing everything wrong I'm like the perfect example of what my family wouldn't want as a child, like I'm also bi and that's apparently disgusting and wrong as well and it's really just everything I guess.

Hi Flo04,

Those sound like some really heavy feelings to be carrying around. Depending on what your faith is, you might find some of the advice in this article helpful, since it deconstructs the idea that masturbation is wrong or sinful: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/poli ... s_selfcare. We can also talk about some other ways to unlearn negative feelings around masturbation if that's something that would be helpful to you.

I'm so sorry that your family (and it sounds like your faith as well) is making you feel like you're disgusting because you're bi. Are there any people or spaces in your life where you're supported in your sexual orientation? Are you even out to your family, or are you needing to stay closeted for now? And, if your faith is part of the equation in shaming you for your orientation, would you like some resources that counteract those messages?

Too, it sounds like you're dealing with a lot of guilt or fear that you're doing everything wrong. Is that all tied to your orientation, or are there other things making you feel that way?