Scarleteen

Hi, I’m a 19 year old girl. I masturbate quite often and feel a lot of pleasure but it seems I can never fully climax. I definitely feel the “build-up” but it never goes anywhere and I never feel a release. It seems like I lose the sensation during build up and then I just give up because I know it’s not going anywhere. I do still feel pleasure though and experience shaking and sensitivity afterwards, so it’s almost like I’m having half-orgasms? I just feel like I’m never fully quite there but I’m so close. I really want to overcome this.

Hi there noordinarylove, and welcome to Scarleteen.

Sometimes it can take a bit of experimentation to figure out what might make orgasm more likely to happen. It may be worth taking some time to try out different ways of touching yourself, adding lube or toys, exploring different sexual fantasies, etc. when you're masturbating. One very important thing to keep in mind is that if you find yourself feeling impatient or frustrated, that can actually make orgasm less likely to happen, since one's mental state can have a strong impact on sexual response. So if you find yourself in frustrated headspace while masturbating, it may be best to take a break for a bit and try again later.

We have an article about sexual response and orgasm that might be a helpful read, if you haven't seen it yet: Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide.


It is possible, too, that you're having orgasms sometimes, if you're having that shaky or sensitive feeling afterwards. Orgasm isn't always a big fireworks show of pleasure; sometimes it's a pretty small moment. I can't know for sure, of course, but I wanted to throw that thought out there as well.