Scarleteen

how can I recover my original desire from women and life? How can I feel the same arousal intensity that I get from porn towards real life girls? How can I find that free Eros (for girls and life in general), the goosebumps that I had in my early teen years?

Hi Brunomag8,

When you talk about recovering your desire, what does that desire look or feel like to you? Is it only sexual attraction? Is it encountering people you'd like to date? Something else entirely? And can you say a little more about why you feel like it's something you've lost?

I will say that, to some degree, it's not all that strange to experience a much stronger spike of arousal to porn than to some person you just pass by in your daily life. Porn is designed to be arousing, and you can find things that zero in on scenarios and performers that make you very aroused very quickly. Does that make sense?

I should start saying porn is a doorway to glue your sex energy to negative spiritual entities. It's a very dark industry, I follow a few semen retention supporters (don't know if you know about this concept) and they talk about the psychic glue of sexual energy. This impacts your inner child and the erotic innocence of he/she, trading it by a downward or outward lustful flow of energy, instead of the original sacred passion for life and letting God take the driver's seat of our vehicles when it comes to sexual pleasure, viewing this pleasure in us and others as a divine gift, and for man most importantly having lucid perceptions about the women, seeing her earthy softness with love and not with a objetified lustful animalistic view... The thing is how can I channel this levels of arousal in porn to real humans, mixing it with the love of my heart... Hope you understand

Hi Brunomag8,

So first, I'd like to start off by saying that I think my relationship to desire and my desiring of other people is a lot more mundane than what you describe! I don't necessarily assign these grand moral energies to the people I feel attracted to; I simply think, "wow, they're cute," or "oh, they're totally my type." There doesn't necessarily have to be this hard line drawn between lustful desire and soft love-like feelings. It sounds like you're possibly struggling with your perception of women and sex being clouded by your relationship with porn, but I think I'm also identifying a desire for love/romance that is being influenced by a view of love and lust as being weightier than they need to be. I'd like to be able to say that reverting to previous feelings should come naturally once you find "The One" person who you really care about, but as you've confessed in the initial post in this thread, you are not a teenager anymore, and you've changed. You have a completely different internal life. Rather than returning to how you used to be able to feel, I think we have to meet you where you are and start deconstructing your worldview. You recognize that you experience a different level of arousal toward "real women" versus women in porn, but here's the thing: those are real people (or, if you tend toward viewing porn of fictional characters, those characters are voiced by real people). So, what is it about those people that make you feel differently towards them? The fact that they are actively having sex? In that case, I wonder if you've considered de-escalating and finding other ways to arouse yourself while you learn how to compartmentalize these feelings?

I'm going to give you a handful of links (the first one doesn't apply to your situation exactly as you've described it, but I think what Sam has to say about sexual arousal here might be helpful to you). I invite you to look at all of them if you can.
I'm an abuse survivor, and I'm worried about sexual addiction.
How to Understand, Identify and Make Choices About Desire
How to Approach Sexual Fantasy and Desire on Your Own Terms

Hello Marisha. Yes pornstars are real persons. But the point is that pornography is teaching the people's brains to associate sexual activity with a screen... So for you to recall that arousal levels you need to go to the place where you directed your sex drive. I don't think it's a moral thing to see human connection from a deep poetic and romance perspective. I think the modern world tend to shallow and superficialize what is meant to be a more immersed experience... OK I always been a utopian fly wonder boy that easily fell into enchantment with the world and the divine feminine (by the organic drive of sex energy). And lust is a part of the sacred too, If men learn to express their dark masculine in a holistic way its all good.

I see. Are you finding yourself in situations that allow you to express yourself sexually beyond the screen?

Not yet... Recently I have been disconnected from my true feminine energy... (intuitive,sensual and loving energy, not associated with gender) but I will rise again as a masterful lover and redirect my sex drive towards my dreams and real connections (heart)

Would it be helpful for us to try to come up with some tools for connecting to thinking about the kind of sexual experience you want? What can we help you with?

I think it's a matter of reconnecting with my inner child and my sensual intuitive self... And above all unblocking energy pathways for that juiciness to flow freely...

It sounds like you know what steps you'd like to take next! Is there anything else we can help you with right now?