Scarleteen

I’m just about to turn 14 and nobody has EVER expressed interest in a relationship with me. I’m autistic but I am on the low end of the spectrum and I’m relatively capable of social interactions. I have always been different from my peers and I know that, but I was hoping in high school things would get easier. Am I really THAT weird? I have been wanting a romantic relationship for a while now but I’m scared nobody will ever like me like that.

I’m a bit on the chubbier side but I am working on loosing weight. I also identify as bisexual but that is subject to change. Any advice would be greatly appreciated <33

Hi swimmingdino7,

I know we've never met, but I am certain you're not unlovable. School can be a really tough time for anyone, and if you feel like you're different from your peers in some ways that can be pretty isolating too. The good news is that it gets better. The bad news is that that doesn't help you here-and-now.

You came to ask about romantic relationships, so let's start there. Perhaps you're noticing a people around you coupling up, but I promise you that it's far more common NOT to have any experience of dating or relationships at 14. It doesn't mean you're weird. It doesn't mean it's not going to happen. There's a whole lot of chance and timing involved in finding good relationships so it can take a while - by a while I mean years. That's normal and okay.

In the meantime, having friendships that make you feel good can make school easier - and the more people you have in your life that you enjoy spending time with, the more opportunities you have to meet someone that has relationship potential. Do you have people you're close to? Would you like to talk about how to find and develop those kinds of friendships?

Thank you so much!! I know I have to be patient but it can be frustrating sometimes… I had friends but I couldn’t stay friends with them as it was affecting my mental health. But I do have a very supportive family which I am eternally grateful for! Thank you for your advice <3

Hi swimmingdino7,

I'm so glad what Siân said was helpful! I do want to touch on what you said about friendships; it can really suck to have to say goodbye to friendships because they're no longer positive relationships for us. Do you have many opportunities in our life to meet new potential friends? If not, would you like some help brainstorming ways to create those opportunities?