Penetration impossible

[Lyle Lanley]

Hi, I'm Massimo. I'm almost 15 and I'm a trans boy. I have been masturbating since I was about 10 or 11, but only with clitoral stimulation. I tried penetration last night, but I could insert barely one inch of my finger; it felt like there was something that wasn't allowing it to enter. There was also a change in texture in the "deepest" part I could touch didn't feel soft and slimy like the labia, it was more rough like an orange peel.

I've seen my vulva multiple times and everything looks normal. Can I fix this problem or have more clarity about it? I'd like to ask my mum about it, but I think she could get mad at me for having tried this (or it's just me being anxious).

I also read about "vaginismus" and I don't know if that's what I have. Vaginismus involves pain, while mine was just an uncomfortable feeling.

Thanks

[Heather]

Hey there, massimo. Welcome to the boards.

It doesn’t actually sound like anything is wrong here to me so much as that you’re discovering some of the particulars of this anatomy.

For instance, that “orange peel” feeling spot you touched was likely the urethral sponge, or what some folks call the G-spot. It feels kind of textured like that. And if that’s where you hit a stop point, it’s probably about your angle and not recognizing the vaginal canal curves back rather than going back in a straight line, curving back and around that space. Too, how far in one can go a d how it feels often has a lot to do with arousal and how comfortable you feel. I also don’t know if this is or isn’t something that activates any kind of dysphoria for you: it does for some trans guys and doesn’t for others.

Have you checked out either of these pieces yet? I’m happy to walk you through any part of them or more questions about this:

• http://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodie ... every_body
• http://www.scarleteen.com/de/article/bo ... anguage=de

[Lyle Lanley]

Thank you very much for this answer, I am returning on this thread with an update.

Yesterday I was very wet and aroused, so I tried penetration with one finger again and I could get only a bit deeper inside. it still felt weird. And today I tried again but it "stopped" in an area where the hole was almost closed by something that felt lumpy and sort of wet.
I read on Scarleteen and other sex ed sites and forums about AFAB anatomy and people with my same problems, but that was still the best I could do.

(Also, my dysphoria about this comes and goes; I only masturbate if I'm not feeling particularly dysphoric.)

[Sam W]

Hi massimo,

Those details are all helpful, thanks! It does sound like arousal is playing a role, which is helpful to know (and generally pretty expected, since inserting things into the vaginal canal is harder if someone isn't aroused). With that lumpy area you felt, did it seem to match with the description of the cervix in the second article Heather gave you?

[Lyle Lanley]

Hi Sam,

I don't think that was the cervix. If it was, it's very low, I'm surprised if my vaginal canal is actually that short.
And it felt like there were some bumps, like I was pushing something back in.

[Mo]

Of course we can't know exactly what you were feeling, but it does sound like your cervix is the most likely thing. The cervix does change position a bit at different points in the menstrual cycle, so you may have touched it when it was at a low point. It can feel firmer or softer at different times, and it will have some give to it, so I can see how that would feel like pushing something in.

[maxpoorly]

I struggle with the same thing, just different sensations. I can get a little further in than you, but it just doesn't feel right or at all pleasurable. (I am a 15 year old trans man, pre T at the moment, although I'll be starting in about March!) I've been thinking that maybe I'm just not cut out for intercourse, and outercourse has always been more comfortable and more okay, especially for dysphoria. (Pro tip, wear underwear and use a bigger wand, if you stroke it like a penis, it feels more natural and more okay.) Good luck my fellow trans dude!