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Masturbating But Can’t Finish.

Questions and discussion about contraception, safer sex, STIs, sexual healthcare and other sexual health issues.
KariOliver
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2021 8:56 am
Age: 18
Awesomeness Quotient: I think that I’m really good at listening 2 others
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/Her/They/Them
Sexual identity: Pansexual
Location: UK

Masturbating But Can’t Finish.

Unread post by KariOliver »

Hello all! I’m Kari and I’m 16. I’m experiencing a problem so I made an account for this Forum.

I have been trying to masturbate since the beginning of this year however I feel like I blue balling myself. I could be masturbating for 2 hours but don’t finish. I feel the pleasure and the build up but when I feel like I am about to cum, nothing happens. I don’t know if I have been shooting blanks for the past year or not

I’m to scared to talk to my parents about it because 1) it’s embarrassing and 2) I don’t want them really knowing till I’m 17/18. But I wanted to ask here since here it’s seems like one big family.

Has anyone experienced this and/or know that’s going on?

Thank you ❤️

Kari
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
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Re: Masturbating But Can’t Finish.

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Kari,

I'm so glad this space feels welcoming to you!

To start out with, can you tell me how engaged your brain is when you're masturbating? In other words, is it super into a fantasy or what's going on, or is it kind of bored or stressed? Too, when you reach that point where you feel like you're about to orgasm and then don't, is it that you feel stuck in the same level of arousal and can't get past it? Or something else?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
KariOliver
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2021 8:56 am
Age: 18
Awesomeness Quotient: I think that I’m really good at listening 2 others
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/Her/They/Them
Sexual identity: Pansexual
Location: UK

Re: Masturbating But Can’t Finish.

Unread post by KariOliver »

Hello Sam,

thank you so much for replying :)

Hopefully this is what you asked for:
I am not at all stressed, bored or anything like that, I am really into the fantasy. Also, to answer your other question, after I reach the peak and not orgasm, I feel the same level of arousal and ,because this isn't the first time this has happened, I don't try again. I feel horny so another 1-2 hours afterwards then it goes.

I have tried both penetration and stimulation but nothing seems to work.
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Masturbating But Can’t Finish.

Unread post by Sam W »

All that detail is really helpful, than you! You mention you've tried both internal and external stimulation. How much variation within those categories have you tried (for instance, varying the speed, angle, pressure, etc)? Too, have you ever introduced sex toys into the mix?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
KariOliver
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2021 8:56 am
Age: 18
Awesomeness Quotient: I think that I’m really good at listening 2 others
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/Her/They/Them
Sexual identity: Pansexual
Location: UK

Re: Masturbating But Can’t Finish.

Unread post by KariOliver »

I've tried everything. Fast, slow, different angles, everything. The only thing I haven't tried sex toys yet. 1) I'm currently low on money. I'm also saving up money for christmas. 2) Even though they do have discreet packaging, I'm scared that my parents will find it. And finally, I don't know which toy/s to get. I don't want to get something that doesn't work and waste money. I do remember some saying that they used household items but idk, that just seems wrong 🤷
Emily N
previous staff/volunteer
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Location: Boston, MA

Re: Masturbating But Can’t Finish.

Unread post by Emily N »

Hey Kari!
I hear you, buying sex toys can be ridiculously expensive! But you actually can use “household items”. It is important that whatever you are using is 1) clean, 2) can be covered by a condom or dental dam, 3) doesn’t have an electrical current, and 4) isn’t too fragile so that it will break or sharp. Another good piece of advice is that “once you start using it for sexy purposes, it gets retired from it's initial function.” Scarleteen actually has a really great article about this - “D.I.Y Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition”. Some suggestions are back massagers, shower heads, and toothbrush handles.
KariOliver
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2021 8:56 am
Age: 18
Awesomeness Quotient: I think that I’m really good at listening 2 others
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/Her/They/Them
Sexual identity: Pansexual
Location: UK

Re: Masturbating But Can’t Finish.

Unread post by KariOliver »

Hello!

Tysm! I’ll definitely try it and report back if it worked or not, if that’s ok with y’all 💙
Sofi
scarleteen staff/volunteer
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Location: USA

Re: Masturbating But Can’t Finish.

Unread post by Sofi »

Absolutely! You are always welcome to post in this thread at any time. :)
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