Scarleteen

So I had this pregnancy scare a few months ago. I had symptoms and suffered with them for a good 2-3 weeks. At first I was panicked and scared so I constantly spammed my boyfriend. Bear in mind we're in highschool, so he didn't react much. I was torn from deciding what to do. I got my period on the 3rd week. However I was actually really sad. Im going through a lot and I actually wanted this baby deep down inside. The pain I went through gave me the opportunity to bond with what I thought was a baby. So to not be pregnant really hurt. Was I attached to the idea? And Is it normal I feel this way being 17? I have no right to be so depressed and sad over the scare. But I can't help it.

Hi Mimi_uwu,

It sounds like both the pregnancy scare, and realising that you weren't pregnant were pretty hard on you. I'm sorry you didn't get more support from your boyfriend through this.

It's possible that part of you was attached to the idea of having a child, yes. It sounds like you were going through a lot of really strong emotions, and it's not unusual in situations like that for some of them to be positive ones, like the bonding feeling you talk about. If you were trying to figure out what would happen and look for the good bits in a scary situation then it's okay that you might mourn those a little. Do you want to talk about what you felt attached to, or hoped for?

I do want to offer a word of caution. You mentioned that you're going through a lot right now, but a child wouldn't make any of that go away - in fact, being a parent at any age is hard, and when you're young it can be even harder as you're less likely to have the support networks and stability, including financial stability, to ease the way. Does that make sense?

Yes it does ! I just wish to feel normal about it. Since it's unusual for someone to feel this way. And I just wish I had the right to be sad about it .

Hi Mimi_uwu,

You have the right to feel however you feel about this, even if those feelings are complex or not what you think you're "supposed" to feel. And you're certainly not the first person to ever get attached to the idea of a pregnancy only to discover there wasn't one; it's not the most talked about experience, but it's one we've seen people dealing with before.

Can you tell me a little more about what you felt or hoped having a baby might change about all the tough stuff you're dealing with? It's possible there might be a way to access some of those changes without a pregnancy.