Scarleteen

Hi there, it's me again, this time with a more substantial issue.

My girlfriend and I have set borders for ourselves regarding sexual interaction, and it's important for us to keep those borders intact, for a multitude of reasons, from economic, through societal, to religious. What this means is that we draw the line at manual sex. However, due to the fact that we don't live alone and sleep over at each other's places somewhat rarely, and also due to the fact that it's less messy to give her manual sex than it is to give me manual sex, I often end the day "unfulfilled", so to speak. We kiss and grope a lot, but I never get any release. Now, this in itself isn't a problem, I am fully aware of the reasons for this, and while bothersome, I understand that they are beyond our scope of control. However, what troubles me is that recently this has started to become a biological problem.

I got used to having "blueballs" after parting for the day and I usually mitigated that problem by sleeping "commando" the following night, and I wasn't troubled by muscle pains in my penis caused by prolonged erections. This time is different though. What's been added is that my girlfriend often wants me to wear skinny jeans (I know...) and they are really uncomfortable down there. Plus, I'm still kinda toilet shy around her, so I tend to limit my bowel movement when with her. All this added up causes a really gross and shameful problem - when I finally have bowel movements after spending the day with her, small amounts of unusually gelatinous semen flow on their own from my penis. I do not feel any sexual pleasure from it, although I become less aroused and "spent", like after a normal orgasm. I got really scared the first time it happened, but it seems to be a normal bodily phenomenon. Still, I don't like it happening. It has happened around three times last week and I wonder if it poses a serious risk for my health if this keeps going on. Once it has happened on its own (felt a small spasm in my penis and then discovered a tiny semen stain on my underwear), so I'm also nervous about this causing pregnancy scares when we're sleeping together. What exactly is happening to me, and should I be concerned? How do I prevent it?

If this continues, I'm gonna have to ask my girlfriend to be more lenient about me masturbating until we're both comfortable enough with our own bodies to engage in mutual manual sex or our living situation becomes better suited to such stuff.

Additional question: I've been thinking about clean and effective ways to contain semen after ejaculating from a handjob. Any ideas? The best I've figured out so far is wearing a condom, which would have the added benefit of briefing us about their usage.

Can you just clear up for me if you are saying that you have been seeing an emission of fluid from your penis that you think (or know) are NOT an ejaculation or pre-ejaculate fluid?

I ask that because you're describing this fluid as semen, but if you're seeing it at times you are not ejaculating (which most often will only occur with some kind of sex, including masturbation, beforehand) or pre-ejaculating (which generally only happens with arousal, though it should be noted some people do find taking a bowel movement, and the muscle movements involved, does create arousal for them). So, maybe you're just calling any fluid from the penis semen?

Before I can talk more about that issue, I need to be more clear with that.

You know, with the jeans issue: partners can like seeing us in certain clothing. But our own comfort and wants with that need to come first, so if you're not being clear that what she likes is highly uncomfortable for you, or you are, but she's pushing for what she wants anyway, that's something to talk about and get sorted. The answer isn't just wearing what she likes but you find painful or very uncomfortable. If she likes them and feels comfortable in them, she can wear them herself, after all.

Per semen and handjobs, condoms are one option. Some people also have a tissue or washcloth at the ready for that purpose.

It's definitely semen. The only difference is that it's more... gelatinous, as if.

Since then I have masturbated and my penis is in working order, so no immediate concern, but I still don't know about any long-term risks of such things happening.

Honestly, I personally feel best about suggesting you just check in with a general doctor about this to be sure that's what it is.

If it is semen or pre-ejaculate, no need for concern. But since either of those things happening, especially an ejaculation, without arousal is pretty unusual, I'd just want to be sure that is what this is, rather than a signal of an infection or other condition.