uhm this is awkward but....

[random-rat]

sorry this is my first post and uhm i feel a little young but legally I can be here....

me and my friends all are into masturbation and crap and are kind of obsessed with that and other sexual stuff...

so we all wanna uhm buy sex toys bcs we're curious.....

so I know we could go to the back of Spencer's or somewhere like CVS or Walgreens but I'm scared they'll see that we're not very old (I'm the youngest in the group, everyone else is 14 or 15)

Another issue is that we all have pretty protective parents and I doubt we'd be able to go to a store alone....

and we already know we can't order online because we all have cards where our parents can see our purchases

so my questions are
a) are we too young to be thinking about this even
b) in the scenario that we could go to a store, would we get in trouble for trying to buy something/would they need an id?
c) what can we do if we can't go to a store?

[Heather]

You're allowed to be here and it's absolutely okay to ask about things like this here.

Masturbation is something that we know even infants do, and some ultrasounds suggest we might even do it while we are still in utero, before we're born. There's really not a "too young" for being curious about your own bodies, whatever parts of them you are curious about. same goes with being curious about pleasure: while it doesn't look the same for people at all stages of life, most people, at all ages, are curious about pleasure.

Sex toys themselves aren't things that someone needs an ID to buy: it's sex toy/sex *stores* where people need to be a certain age to go in and shop there. You should not get in trouble for buying a sex toy at a pharmacy or big box store.

If you can't go to a store and you can't shop online, then your option is instead to go for safe ways to DIY toys. We have two articles about that you can check out here:
• D.I.Y Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition
• DIY Sex Toys: The Partnered Edition

I will just add that in the event you or your friends buy anything that goes inside your bodies, it's important you also a) buy lubricant, since that's often essential not only for things to feel good, but also to keep from hurting yourself, and b) to be sure you also are all able to keep your toys clean, whether by covering them with condoms or being able to clean them if you don't. If any of you are trying to keep toys hidden, cleaning them may be challenging, but it's really important to do because toys that aren't kept clean can give you bacterial infections.

Does that clear that up for you?

[random-rat]

first of all wow the founder themself replied to me!!! I just want to say that you are really awesome!!

and yes, thanks for the articles, both me and my friends have found some alternatives.

also, is there a safe way to make diy condoms (just for masturbation) ? and funny enough, before I even came on this site or read the articles I did try with the electric toothbrush (not actually putting it in my vagina and just using it on the clit and washing it for 10 minutes straight because I'm a germaphobe) and I was wondering if I'd still need a condom or something for that.

and one more thing, kind of like the condom question but what about lube? my friend uses an empty lip gloss tube to go inside her (yes I know it's an interesting choice) and I know the vagina lubricates itself when aroused but still, should she maybe not do what she's doing without lube or a condom?

[Becky]

Hi random-rat!

The only DIY alternative for a condom I could think of would be to wrap your toy in a latex/medical grade glove/cut off the finger of a latex glove to cover the toy. Something like that would definitely be enough to cover an electric toothbrush. But there's also no age limit to buy condoms at stores like Target or CVS so you could get those as well. The point of having a condom for your toys would be to make cleanup easier-- but as long as you are cleaning your toys thoroughly with gentle soap and water and not sharing them with anyone you don't necessarily need a condom for your own personal toys.

I *do* think covering your electric toothbrush in either a latex glove or condom is a good idea. Even though it can be washed, there's a lot of little crevices between all of those bristles that bacteria could hide in so I think covering it is the overall easier option. And if you ever try the vegetable-as-a-dildo trick then you definitely need to 1) wash it before use and 2) invest in actual condoms to make sure it's properly covered. Vegetables have a lot of natural texture, bumps, scratches, etc. where bacteria could be and a cut up latex glove might not offer enough coverage. But if you end up investing in silicone sex toys, those are designed to be easy to wash as they are smooth so a condom wouldn't be necessary then as long as you are washing them in-between uses.

As for lube, the point of lube would be to make any insertion easier for dildos or internal vibrators. This is important for personal comfort and making sure you're not causing any irritation or pain to your vagina. And yes, you're right! The vagina does lubricate itself, especially during arousal, so sometimes lube isn't totally necessary but it will make insertion (especially of larger toys/items) a lot easier and more comfortable (and, fun fact, it can increase pleasure!)

For your friend with the lip gloss tube, it's probably small enough that it can be inserted without too much discomfort (although it wouldn't hurt to try with lube, it might make things even more enjoyable) but she should make sure she is thoroughly cleaning it in-between uses or do the condom/latex glove trick. Since lip gloss tubes usually have a cap that can be unscrewed, I worry about bacteria hiding in that tiny crevice between the cap and the tube. She should definitely be taking the lip gloss tube apart and thoroughly washing it in-between uses.

For DIY lube it is totally fine to use things like jojoba or olive oil that you might be able to find around your house. However, if you end up purchasing a silicone sex toy you may want to consider investing in a water-based lubricant to avoid the oil potentially breaking down or damaging the silicone toy. Oil can also break down latex in condoms or gloves so again, water-based lube would be the better choice if you are going to use latex as part of your masturbation routine. However, there are latex free medical gloves and condoms available.

Does all of that make sense?

[random-rat]

yes thank you!!! I've realized that taking the head off the electric toothbrush works a lot better since there's no bristles and I'm not wasting a head and using a latex glove provides a lot more security.

and as for my friend, I'll definitely recommend some things to her since its seems like she doesn't wash it every time.

and also for any lube alternatives should I worry about irritation? my skin on the rest of my body is sensitive so I don't know if that would apply to that part of my body too.

[Becky]

It's definitely something to test out! You can always do a patch test on your skin (like on your arm or leg) and see if you have a reaction. If you are going to use an oil, I would try something like jojoba since it is typically pretty gentle. Avoid things like coconut or almond oil as they are pretty common allergens.

The most hypoallergenic option would probably be a water-based lubricant. These are going to be designed specifically for using on genitals and so will be designed to be gentle on the skin.

But yeah, definitely do a patch test on your skin whether you go with an oil or a water-based lubricant. And avoid any ingredients that you know you are allergic to or typically cause your skin irritation. If you do use a lubricant and experience any irritation or a burning sensation, immediately rinse the area with cool water and stop using that particular lubricant.

Also, just a head's up, latex (like in gloves and condoms) is a pretty common allergy too, so maybe consider non-latex alternatives if you're typically sensitive! Or try wearing a latex glove just on your hand or finger to see if you react before using it near/in your genitals.

I hope that helps!

[random-rat]

yes thanks for clearing everything all up!!!

this site is the greatest thing I've ever discovered

[Latha]

Aw, thanks from everyone here!