Scarleteen

So, I am bi & polyamorous and have an online boyfriend who lives in another country. Xe is acearo, so our relationship is nonsexual. But I would love to have sex with someone next year or in the near future, I just don't know how to go about it with my boyfriend if/when it eventually happens, or how xe would react.

Also, I had a crush on another online friend who lives in my same country but in a different region. After some months, and discussing with my boyfriend (who said xe was okay if me and them started dating), I spilled it. At first, they said it was complicated cos of their past relationship experiences, but then they decided we should stay as friends. I was okay with it for a while. Me and them are close friends now, but we often mention hugging, cuddling and platonically kissing each other (on the face).
Despite all this, I still find myself fantasizing about meeting them and having sex with them, and I don't know if it's right. Plus when they posted on their Instagram story a screenshot of a DM they had with someone, I don't remember what it was, but it made me feel a bit jealous.

HELP!

Hi massimo,

I'm going to break this down into two sections, since it seems like there are two overlapping questions here. With your desire for a sexual relationship in general, have you spoken with your boyfriend about opening up your relationship more generally? For instance, do you think polyamory would be something both you and xe would be comfortable with?

As for your friend, there's nothing wrong with having fantasies about someone you're friends with. But it can be tricky to navigate a friendship after a confession of feelings that isn't reciprocated. Do you feel like it would be helpful to maybe recalibrate that friendship a little, including adjusting how much physical closeness you engage in?