how to move on

[idk anymore]

lots of context I've said a million times, bad choices, physical scarring, etc.

I can't move on from a relationship that ended over a year ago. I've had a crush on other people, but still haven't been able to move one. Only theory is that they are the only real relationship I've ever had and I missed being loved and noone else feels that way about me. no matter what I do, the underlying problem of being incapable of moving past this person and just wanting to feel loved never is resolved. I'm so &$@&+ tired of feeling this way and a majority of the answers I get are, it will get better. Yet a year later, no change.

sorry if I sound hostile writing this, I'm just so worked up and have so much to do and am fed up with feeling sad.

thanks for all the help

[Mo]

I'm sorry this is so frustrating, and it's understandable that you'd feel this way. I think what's tough is that there just isn't an easy answer here; we can't necessarily tell you what might make it easier to move on emotionally. Sometimes people say "give it time" and similar things because there isn't really much you can do, in a lot of situations, but sit with a painful feeling and hope it passes. Still, though, I get why hearing that would be annoying or upsetting, especially when it feels like you've spent a long time having these feelings without things changing.

You've mentioned a therapist in previous posts; are you still seeing them? Is this feeling something you've felt comfortable discussing with them?

[idk anymore]

Yes, I do still see them. I'll be seeing them today, in fact. But, no, not really. It's just not conversation I feel comfortable having with people I know. If it's removed like this, it's fine, but someone I interact with regularly is just too uncomfortable.

[Emily N]

Hi idk anymore,
I’m glad you’re still able to see a therapist. What kind of things do you find most helpful to talk about with your therapist? Is there a reason you don’t feel comfortable talking about the way you are feeling and struggling to move on?

[idk anymore]

My therapist helps me with unsafe thoughts and dealing with difficulties with mu family.

I don't feel comfortable because I'm an awkward teenager and it feels strange to talk to adults I know well about stuff like that.

[Sofi]

That's valid, it's okay to feel that way. Your therapist is there to help with all these things, though, and they won't judge you or see you differently. It's their job to talk to people, including teenagers, about these things and it won't be weird from their perspective. Have they made you feel uncomfortable in the past about anything?

[idk anymore]

no not really

[Urna]

Then I think you should really consider talking to them about your loneliness and not being able to move on. Your therapist is trained, as Sofi said, to help you with stuff you're going through, and I can guarantee that the topic of romance and heartbreak is something that they won't find awkward to talk about--it's a very common struggle. I understand that you will find it awkward, of course, but (and especially if you tell them that you find it awkward to talk about these things in person with adults you know) they will do their best to put you at ease. What do you think?

[idk anymore]

I think that I guess it's worth a try. I just don't know what they could possibly tell me that I haven't heard countless times.

[Sam W]

It can help to remember that most therapists have more training in than the average person in helping people through tough situations, so they may have advice or suggestions you haven't heard before. More than that, it might help to lead with what you've told us here; that you keep getting certain pieces of advice that don't seem to work for you and that's leading you to feel frustrated or hopeless. That gives your therapist a sense of what direction it could be helpful to take the session.