Sexual Coercion

[confusedperson]

So I’m feeling guilty about something and I’m not sure how to approach it. I had a senior boyfriend when I was a freshman. He was 17, I was 14

At one point in our relationship, I coerced him into letting me blow him. He definitely said no at first..but I kept asking. Like I said, I was 14 at the time and I feel like I didn’t know any better. However, I still feel pretty guilty about it. It was four years ago. I’m not sure how to move on from it. I’ve apologized to him but I feel like it’s not enough.

[Emily N]

Hi confusedperson,

It is true that consent has to be enthusiastic from all people engaged, regardless of (and often we should be especially cognizant of) gender and age differences, and coercion is never okay. It sounds like now you have a better understanding of why it’s not okay to keep asking someone to engage in a sexual act if they initially did not give consent. I’m glad that you were able to apologize to him about it - has he shared how he feels? At this point, those are two big steps to take - realizing when you were wrong so you don’t repeat it and apologizing to anyone you may have hurt.