Scarleteen

So I got Nexplanon with the intention of losing my virginity on it. I have tokophobia and I couldn’t imagine anything worse than having a child (at least at the moment). I have had Nexplanon for about a month now and whenever I have sex I plan to do it with a condom as well. I know this is just crazy to ask but what are the odds of getting pregnant with a condom and Nexplanon at the same time?

I believe this fear is so strong for me because in my family abortion just simply wouldn’t be an option. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and we are even on track to getting engaged and married. We are both 23 right now. So really… a baby wouldn’t be the end of the world… I just really really fear pregnancy. It sounds disturbing to me. I also see a therapist and we have talked about this topic before. My therapist actually helped convince me to get on birth control because originally I was just going to not have sex until I got married because of my fear.

TL;DR: Intense fear of pregnancy, what are the odds of getting pregnant using both a condom and Nexplanon?

Hi there wombats11, and welcome to Scarleteen.

Firstly, whilst I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with a phobia, I am glad to hear that you have discussed this with a therapist, and that they are helping you work through this, that is a massive first step so well done for doing that and getting support to work through it.

I will give you the stats below, but greatly advocate that you keep working with them on this, and take things as slowly and step by step with your partner, so that you can work through your phobia in way that you feel safe and supported. Is that something you have been planning to do?

If you feel comfortable answering, have you engaged in other kinds of sexual activity or physical intimacy that are not associated with pregnancy risk before (like dry humping or oral sex), or discussed the kinds of act that you might like or not like to do? Establishing this kind of communication, and also trying acts that cannot cause pregnancy might assist you with gently building up to feeling more comfortable with penis-in-vagina sex, and also you don't have to have that kind of sex unless you really want to, ever. There are many kinds of things that fall under that definition. Also, have you talked to your partner about sex before, ahead of trying penis-in-vagina sex? Or does discussing things like that seem a bit daunting at the moment?

I am going to drop some articles here for you to read about these ideas a bit more. Once you have had a chance to read them and reflect on the above, it would be great to hear your thoughts and/or reflections on these if you feel comfortable sharing them.

• Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist
• Be a Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
• Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?

With regards to pregnancy risk with Nexplanon and a Condom used together, in our article, The Buddy System: Effectiveness Rates for Backing Up Your Birth Control With a Second Method, that a contraceptive implant is 99.9% effective with perfect use, and 99.9% effective with typical use, so it's already really effective. Using a backup method, particularly one that operates as STI protection is something we highly recommend, and combined with use of a contraceptive implant with an external condom is also 99.99% effective with perfect use, and 99.99% effective with typical use, so very effective as a contraceptive.

Knowing this information is an important factor in reassuring yourself with the facts as you face your phobia, however again having good communication with your partner and working with your therapist through this are important supports too . If you have any questions, curiosities or thoughts about the above, please don't hesitate to ask.

thanks so much for this reply, i was really worried as well