Virgin, no pressures but a lot of insecurities

[BoxToBox]

So, I'm a male, straight, and about to turn 19 and I'm still a virgin. I have known my best friend for over 4 years. I have always liked her and on multiple occasions she has discreetly expressed that perhaps she also has feelings for me.The thing is that the sexual tension between the two has been increasing notably, however, due to some location problems, we have not been able to spend much time together.

She has been characterized by dating people between 5 and 10 years older than her, so it's quite difficult to believe that she could have feelings for me. Anyway, she doesn't miss an opportunity to discreetly drop hints about things we should do, she says it almost whispering, but enough for me to catch up. In fact, last year we went to a meal on a terrace and when everyone left, she closed the door, put on some music and kissed me. It was honestly an amazing moment, but then she tried to take me to a room in the back and I couldn't, I was genuinely feeling sick from the food we had. It was my moment, don't know if she is the right girl for my first time, but what I know is that I would have no regrets if it happens with her.

A couple of months later we met again, but this time on a trip to the beach with his family and friends. He wasted no time getting us alone to drop hints again.I honestly can't wait to do it with her, especially now that I'm moving to another city and she to another continent.

The big problem here is me. I am a robust, tall and good-looking man. Everyone confirms that I look like someone 4 or 5 years older than my age. Women of all ages drop hints at me, invite me to their homes, and even though I'd like to accept, I don't. I am made in the old way, I would like my first time to be with someone I trust, someone for whom I feel something, and who also feels something mutual so as not to judge me but guide me.

My insecurities are from dawn to dusk, am I the right size? Will I come too fast? Ruin things or I won't last long? Remember that my best friend has dated older people, so she has a lot of experience and I would not want to disappoint her. Perhaps you will say: if she feels something for you, she will not judge and will understand, she will help you and everything will be fine, but I don't feel like that would be fine, I am so proud and selfish with myself that I couldn't allow someone to feel sorry for my condition. I don't have a small member, honestly I don't even know if it's average, small or big, and I feel like time is running out on me and I would like to have my first time asap and also to begin my sexual activity like the other boys my age.

I don't know what to do to throw myself into the ring without having fears about my physique, my best friend is a Goddess, a princess, I don't want to be the frog but the prince.

[Sam W]

Hi BoxToBox,

Before we get into some of those insecurities, can I ask if you and your friend have explicitly talked about having sex with each other? Or has it all been a lot of dropping hints?

One thing I want to point out is that rushing into a sexual experience because you want to "catch up" with other people you're age isn't a great call. For starters, that can often make that sexual experience less than satisfying because you're just doing it to get it out of the way, rather than because you're excited to or feel ready to do it. Secondly, you're not even all that "behind"; it's actually really common for people to be 18 and not have had any sexual experiences.

As for those worries about size and ejaculation, I think you should give these pieces a read to see if they help: Shown Actual Size: A Penis Shape & Size Lowdown, https://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodi ... jaculation