Scarleteen

yea hey im a 15 y o girl and ive been masturbating since i was 8, but i just recently discovered that most women masturbate wayyy different than me. i guess most people with a vulva go for clitoral stimulation or rub and stroke their genitals, maybe even insert a finger or two into the vagina but i just. its so weird so basically i flatten my three middle fingers and place them on the skin that lies on the bone between my bladder and my clit and i just wiggle the skin up and down by rubbing it with my fingers. like its the skin above my clit, closer to my clit than to my bladder but not rly close to my clit, its a good bit above. its basically like that thing women sometimes do in porn when theyre squirting. ive always masturbated this way and ive come every single time ive ever masturbated this way. to be frank ive never even touched my clitoris in my life until a few weeks ago and i STILL havent even touched my lips or attempted to go into my vagina. i feel absolutely no pleasure when i touch my clit or try to stimulate it, even when i'm horny. i recently started dating a guy and we talk really openly about sexuality, self-pleasure, porn, etc and we sext a lot and he often talks about not being able to wait to watch me touch myself someday. like he just thinks its so hot and its such a sexy thing, the way women touch themselves, but like. i dont even do anything hot lol and it makes me feel really nervous about him watching me in the future and im kinda embarrassed that i dont stroke and tug and rub the way apparently most other women do. like i just rub/wiggle the skin rly fast theres nothing sexy or sensual or sultry about it and it makes me feel stupid now lol is there any way i can like train myself to masturbate like normally?? like how can i make myself feel good with slower movements and rubbing my clit. ive been trying for a couple weeks but i havent been able to come with slow movements or clitoral stimulation, only the fast rubbing on the skin above my lady bits that gets me off at all :(

Hey owouwu -- there is no "normal" way to masturbate, even though it may feel like there is sometimes because of what we hear from others or see in media. There are truly so many ways, and all it comes down to what feels good on an individual basis. If you are genuinely interested in masturbating in different ways than you normally do, I don't think there's anything wrong with experimenting with new things to see how they feel. But it's really not a matter of "training" - if what you're doing doesn't feel good, forcing it will not change it. I understand feeling nervous about the person your dating eventually watching you masturbate, but I think what he's actually most interested in seeing is you feeling good. Is this something you only recently starting feeling some anxiety about since he mentioned wanting to watch you sometime?