Ever since me and my lover had sex I can’t pleasure myself

Brand-new? This is the place for your questions and discussions on any and all topics, with fellow users or staff, while you get your feet wet.
Aether66
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun Feb 06, 2022 3:51 pm
Age: 20
Awesomeness Quotient: The way I help people
Primary language: English
Pronouns: He/they/her
Location: California

Ever since me and my lover had sex I can’t pleasure myself

Unread post by Aether66 »

Ever since me and my lover had sex I can’t seem to touch myself or even get myself wet, if he touches me I’ll get wet but I don’t understand why I can’t touch myself after having sex with them? I’ve openly talked about this with the and they’ve said they can’t touch themselves either why is this happening?
Carly
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 471
Joined: Sun Sep 20, 2020 9:13 pm
Age: 32
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: Bisexual
Location: American Midwest

Re: Ever since me and my lover had sex I can’t pleasure myself

Unread post by Carly »

Hey Aether66 -- this may sound a little simple, but perhaps you both enjoyed being together so much that masturbating is less exciting and causing some difficulty. Does that resonate with you at all? To be clear, when you say you can't touch yourselves -- do you mean masturbate to orgasm, or are you experiencing difficulty physically/pain?
Aether66
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun Feb 06, 2022 3:51 pm
Age: 20
Awesomeness Quotient: The way I help people
Primary language: English
Pronouns: He/they/her
Location: California

Re: Ever since me and my lover had sex I can’t pleasure myself

Unread post by Aether66 »

Carly wrote: Sun Feb 06, 2022 4:58 pm Hey Aether66 -- this may sound a little simple, but perhaps you both enjoyed being together so much that masturbating is less exciting and causing some difficulty. Does that resonate with you at all? To be clear, when you say you can't touch yourselves -- do you mean masturbate to orgasm, or are you experiencing difficulty physically/pain?
Hello thanks for answering! That’s what I’ve been thinking since I’ve never been like this with anyone. When we try to touch ourselves we don’t have an orgasm for me personally I can hardly even get wet without my lover now. We don’t experience any pain
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Ever since me and my lover had sex I can’t pleasure myself

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Aether66,

Given all that, I think it's likely that Carly's hunch is correct and a lot of this is about masturbation not feeling as exciting as partnered sex right now. It's likely that will change over time as sex becomes more familiar and it carries less of the buzz of, "oh my gosh this is the GREATEST THING EVER!" Does that make sense?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
Aether66
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun Feb 06, 2022 3:51 pm
Age: 20
Awesomeness Quotient: The way I help people
Primary language: English
Pronouns: He/they/her
Location: California

Re: Ever since me and my lover had sex I can’t pleasure myself

Unread post by Aether66 »

Sam W wrote: Mon Feb 07, 2022 8:05 am Hi Aether66,

Given all that, I think it's likely that Carly's hunch is correct and a lot of this is about masturbation not feeling as exciting as partnered sex right now. It's likely that will change over time as sex becomes more familiar and it carries less of the buzz of, "oh my gosh this is the GREATEST THING EVER!" Does that make sense?
Yes thank you so much<3 I was really worried something was wrong with me so this helps thank you
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Ever since me and my lover had sex I can’t pleasure myself

Unread post by Sam W »

You're very welcome!
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post