Scarleteen

i seem to be having trouble feeling any kind of pleasure when touching myself, even when I'm turned on. I've tried fingering myself but it just felt weird, and actually made me feel less in the mood. I've read that external stimulation can sometimes be better, especially the clit. But I've been searching for my clit for like three days and I still cant find it. It feels like I've felt everywhere. So I'm just gonna assume I don't have a clit bcs I've undergone female genital mutilation when I was small (I'm 18 now). Do you have any suggestions on how I could feel pleasure when touching myself? Thanks.

Hi ilyazz,

I'm so sorry that was something that was done to you when you were younger. If you've used diagrams like the ones here (With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body) for reference and your clitoris just doesn't seem to be where it's shown as being, then it's likely you underwent a type of FGM known as a Clitoridectomy, where all or part of the external structure of the clitoris is removed.

The good news is that, while the clitoris is a source of pleasure for many people, it's far from the only way people can experience sexual pleasure. In fact, even if the external part of the clitoris is gone, a large portion of it is internal. So by applying pressure, either on the outside or in the vaginal canal, to the right spots can still generate a lot of pleasure. You can read even more about that, and more advice for folks who underwent FGM, here: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/abus ... _after_fgc.

Too, our brains are our biggest sexual organs, so if they're not engaged in and aroused by what's going on, masturbation is unlikely to feel like much. When you masturbate, are you already aroused when you start? And do you find it easy to get into a fantasy or other mindset that helps you stay that way?