I don’t really feel anything

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
Eonick
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Feb 07, 2022 5:02 am
Age: 21
Awesomeness Quotient: I’m pretty funny sometimes
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him
Sexual identity: Straight/questioning
Location: Iowa

I don’t really feel anything

Unread post by Eonick »

hi,
i’m a 19 year old cis male. i recently had sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she keeps saying how good it felt. i’m really glad that it felt good for her, and it was amazing being intimate with her, but physically it didn’t really feel good. i have the same problem when masturbating, in both cases i’m able to get off but it doesn’t feel good or bad, both during and after. as long as i can remember it’s been this way. i don’t find it to be an issue, i can still find pleasure in the emotional aspect of being intimate with someone i love. i’m wondering if its normal to have a lack of physical pleasure?
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: I don’t really feel anything

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Eonick,

I'd say, just from the questions we see here, struggles with pleasure during masturbation or partnered sex are common. So if you're not finding it to be an issue in your enjoyment of sex overall, then it's not something you need to go all-in on changing or troubleshooting. If you do want to talk about ways to bring more physical pleasure into sex, we can certainly brainstorm that, but if you're having fun as is there's no need to put pressure on yourself to experience sex the way you think you "should."
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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