Scarleteen

Hi. I hope everyone at Scarleteen is well.

I was hoping you could offer some advice.

So, I'm 19, male and well puberty's king of finished for me. But, there's one issue,

I have a strong feeling that I have a high sex drive - even though I'm not sexually active, but I have masturbated in the past. My high sex drive is getting in the way of things, work, uni and friends.

I have tried reading articles online, distracting myself, keeping my bedroom door open, but nothing is helping me.

What can I try next as I really just want to get on with my life.

Hi TS_6249,

I'm sorry this is causing you so much frustration. Can you say a little more about the ways you feel your sex drive is getting in the way of other things in your life?

Hi Sam,

Thanks for your reply.

I feel like my thoughts and acts are getting in the way of my university work and general ability to just get on with life.

Hey TS_6249 -- I suppose my question is very similar to Sam's in that I'd like to know more information about how severely this is impacting you. For example, when you say it's getting in the way of school work, do you find yourself missing deadlines, avoiding assignments, or not going to class? Or do those kinds of things get done but you're feeling distracted? I'm interested in making a distinction so we can give you the most relevant advice possible.

Hi Carly,

To answer your questions, for me personally, I feel like the thoughts/actions get in the way of me actually getting work done.

For example, starting an assignment. I don't miss deadlines or class, but these thoughts of thinking about 'sexual' things keep me distracted.

What I really want is to just get rid of these thoughts and stop my actions.

Hopefully, this provides a bit more insight.

Hello,

This is helpful, thanks. May I ask what you usually do to stop thinking about sexual things? How do you distract yourself from the distraction, in other words? What works, and what doesn't?

If you don't have answers to this yet, here are some suggestions. Things like homework and chores are often not helpful when it comes to getting rid of distracting sexual thoughts or arousal. Have you considered engaging in some non-sexual physical activity, like going for a run, going shopping or simply existing in a public place, watching a really engaging piece of media, like action or comedy or horror, etc.?

Hi Urna,

I've tried doing other tasks like the ones you mentioned - working on uni work, flat chores, etc, but my sexual thoughts always come back to me.

Ever since a young age when puberty/sex ed was introduced at school and students talked about these topics, some continued to spread their talks a lot and this is what's caused my issues.

Especially since I used to masturbate a lot because I was curious and well it's just stuck with me.

I don't know what else to try.

Hey,

Beginning to masturbate because of curiosity is a very common way that people begin to explore their sexuality, and it’s okay to want to continue masturbating! How much we desire to masturbate is often out of our control, and there are many biological factors that drive our desire for masturbation and sex (check out this article). In short, it's okay to have a high sex drive!

I’m sorry to hear that it has been affecting your ability to focus, though. Have you tried Urna’s suggestion of exercise? Sometimes releasing energy through a different physical outlet could help dissipate the feelings. Another idea is that anytime you start to feel distracted, try a short activity that forces your brain to redirect for a second (take a lap around the house, dance to one song, pick up your work and study in a different room).

Hi Emily,

The only reason why I want to say away from masturbation now is because of religious reasons.

I will try and get more active and try some short activities. I'll report back in a couple of weeks to let you know how I'm doing.

Thank you.