Why does sex hurt so much after two years?

[yellow168]

Hi! I'm a 19years old girl. The last time I had sex was 2years ago that was with my Ex after and we broke up, I stayed single and didn't have any sexual intercourse with anyone until I met my other ex back in July last year, at that time both of us were a bit drunk because of the party we had, now what happened was he foreplay me a little bit, and suddenly inserts his "D" inside me that was when I was really surprised. It hurt so bad that I told him to get it stop and he stopped, the pain lasted like 2 days but not that much. I mean it felt like the first time I had sex. And the thing is, before I met him my vagina shrink even if I put a finger in there that would hurt so much. My question is Why does it hurt so bad? and will my vagina shrink to a finger size again in just 2months? Now I'm with my new boyfriend but sex doesn't hurt anymore and feels really good. But we haven't had sex for almost 2 months now, so will it hurt that bad like before if we started again?

[Heather]

Hi there, and welcome to the boards. <3

So, vaginas don't shrink when they aren't engaged in sex. That's not a thing that happens.

There are an array of things, however, that can happen and that might have been the case here:
• It sounds like this person was hasty with intercourse. Moving too fast when your partner isn't turned on enough and actually prepared can result in pain. (It also sounds like this wasn't even consensual, since you say it surprised you. Did this person ask if they could do that before they did?)
• Given what I said there about consent, and how you have described this, it sounds likely you weren't likely able to relax here.
• Alcohol may make people more willing to be sexual, but it actually gets in the way of the body's responses to sex, including often making it take longer to get aroused, or getting in the way of arousal, period. As well, it makes the vagina less likely to lubricate, and it sounds like no top of all that, you probably weren't using a lubricant, either.
• When a person with a vagina gets used to certain kinds of entry, the muscles are quicker to relax and remember how to relax. If it's been a while, they can "forget" and it can be something you just need to get used to again.

Honestly, drunken intercourse you didn't even ask for is something where pain is just really likely, and probably would have been a factor even if you had had sex a few days before. It would have been surprising in this instance if you had had a good and pleasurable experience, I'd say.