Nearly 18 but I can't stand being away from my parents

[naranna]

I've always been worried about not acting my age and feeling like I'm younger than I'm supposed to be.

What I mean is that I don't relate to most kids my age and don't feel as mature and capable as they are. I've gotten some advice before that helped me realize that they might just not be as mature and capable as I think they are and that it doesn't matter how fast I "grow up".

However, another issue I've realised this past year is that I can't stand to be away from my parents for long periods of time wether its just one of them or both.

I can't say I have a picture perfect family but I am priviledged to have two healthy parents that love each other and are open about that love. I've never been close to either of them but we don't have a terrible relationship either.

I remember a couple years ago my dad had to work away from home for a couple months and I fell into a really depressive state and I never understood why. This happens not only during long periods of time but also when I'm just out the whole day with friends, I find myself really missing my parents. My dad had to work away from home again these last few months and it made me remember how bad it makes me feel.

Just wanted to ask about how to navigate feeling this way.

[Nicole]

Hi naranna!

Welcome to the boards and thanks for reaching out! I have a friend who was in a similar situation. She also felt like she acted "too young" for her age because she got her driver's license late, never had a job, currently lives with her parents, etc. I'd say that it's all bullshit--everyone paces their life differently, some experiences come later for some people and that's okay! With that being said, from what I've seen myself, I really do agree with the advice that you've been given. I do have a question for you, what behaviors from the people around you stand out regarding their maturity?

I'm really sorry to hear about what you've been experiencing when being away from your parents. Could you go into a little bit more detail about the depressive state that you go into? I know you mentioned that you're already not that close with your parents--how often do you spend time with them, currently? If it's not often, are you able to spend more time with them at the moment? I know you said your dad sometimes works away from home for long periods of time, which can definitely impact your yearning for time together as a family. If both of your parents are around now full-time, it might help to schedule and set time aside for some family time. It doesn't have to be often, since I know they're probably busy with work, but maybe a weekly dinner or spending a weekend together? This could ease some of those homesick emotions when you're not around them. What do you think?

I hope my response helps in any way. Take care!