Scarleteen

I've been having a problem with masturbation , see my post Neutral masturbation for details , basically I feel nothing while masturbating. I'm wondering if I should go to planned parenthood & get a pap or something to see if there's not a physical issue. I do have horrible periods , unless I take birth control. I currently don't have health insurance , I don't drive so I couldn't get there without a ride but don't want to tell my mom . I suppose , I could make some excuse up. I found this but most of these don't relate to me. http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-cond ... n-20033229

Hi dulcediva,

From what you've described, this doesn't sound like something that requires a pap smear. However, if you're concerned that there may be something else going on (or you're due for a check-up anyway), then going to planned parenthood is always an option.

Just to be clear, a pap smear is a test that screens for cell changes of the cervix that can signal cervical cancer. That's all that test is for.

And, almost completely, cervical cancer comes from an initial HPV infection. As I understand it, you haven't had any sexual partners, so HPV is out, and thus, cervical cancer would be mighty unlikely, too. And it is not associated with people finding masturbation to be blah.

More times than not, masturbation or other sexual contact feeling "like nothing" (which, when people say that, really isn't nothing,. but just isn't exciting or what they expected) has more to do with the brain than the genitals. In other words, our genitals usually only tend to get sensitive to the point that sexual contact with them feels exciting when we're super-excited -- turned on, etc. -- in our minds.

Since my impression is that you've been trying to masturbate more because you think you should, and others do, than because you feel a strong, physical and emotional desire to do it, chances are that the issue here is about that, not a sexual health problem.

And THAT all said, you certainly can still start your sexual healthcare when you'd like, and you likely have clinics available to you, like Planned Parenthood, which operate on a sliding scale. So, you could make an appointment to ask about this, about treatments for your painful periods or anything else you'd like to.

Planned parenthood has something called sexual response education , that may be for me. I've got my Gardasil shots & haven't had a partner , so hpv is out. Maybe my medication has something to do with it.

By all means, that sounds like potentially great education.

Honestly, it seems to me like you are thinking something is a problem when it likely is not. People rarely can force themselves into being sexually excited, or into enjoying something they just do not at the time, or yet.

You do not enjoy masturbation for the time being, or have yet to find what feels good to you. That, all by itself, is nothing that indicates or even suggests a health issue. What it mostly indicates, again, is that you are trying to do something when you do not really want to, but because you feel you should, and also feel it should feel a cerain way, and that, with this all being awfully new to you, you are probably just still barely learning about your own sexual response, sexuality and body.

I've looked at so many links & I only have experienced these two things increased heart rate & lubrication. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health ... l-pleasure I've also looked at these http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/ ... e-in-women , http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all ... ual-desire , http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mar ... ix-secrets http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-cond ... n-20033229 I haven't experienced this :" sexual drive is the biological component of desire, which is reflected as spontaneous sexual interest including sexual thoughts, erotic fantasies, and daydreams." http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/ ... e-in-women

Again, not sure what you're looking for here. I stand by my previous reply, especially since you are echoing exactly what I said in it here about simply not having yet experienced strong sexual desires yet. Given where you're at in life, and how new this all is to most people around your age, that's nothing unusual, nor anything to suggest a health issue.

I'd add that if and when we keep focusing on making something a problem, it will tend to become one, and if and when we stay hyperfocused on something we just aren't feeling, we're only bound to feel more and more negative about it, rather than giving ourselves and our bodies the freedom to just develop and unfold at their own pace.

In a word: why push this? Why stay so focused on something you just aren't feeling a desire for? Why not, instead, focus on parts of your life you DO feel very passionate about, excited with, that do feel like a fit for you? Why try and make something into a problem that isn't one?

Because , I want to figure it out now.

Well, the thing is that our sexuality is lifelong, and so is it's development. We can't just push a magic button, including on our bodies, and SHAZAM! have it all figured out, or have things be at one time the way they will not be at others. This is not likely a medical issue -- but again, if you feel better making an appointment to find out, no reason not to! -- nor something where there will be an answer. I have my money on this simply being your pacing, so far, with your sexuality and how it has been for you. And if you want that to resolve, you'll usually have better luck accepting who you are for now and just leaving room to find more things out over time than trying to push, force or medicalize it.

You aren't yet feeling interest or desire for a thing, and the truth is, there may likely not be any explanation for that but that you don't, just like some people don't like mushrooms at first but love them later, or like some people inexplicably can't stand jogging, even though other people live for it.

So, that's where we're going to stand here, which is where, I'd say, most sexual healthcare folks and sex educators will also stand. You don't have to agree, obviously, but there's really nowhere else for us to go with this with you here. We can't make time or your personal or sexual development go any different or faster than it is: we just accept people's diversity in something this and know that's all we can generally do. I'd encourage you to try and do the same. It sure beats the alternative of making something into a problem or big issue when it's not one.

I'm thinking I'll get some vitamin supplements , try to get some toys & go to the gyno. I don't want to go on with things as they are.

How can I make an appointment to see a gyno considering that I don't have insurance & don't want to tell my mom why I want to go , nor do I drive .

You will want to then look into what sliding scale clinics or public health clinics are near to you, and which you can reach using public transportation, like the bus.

My mom is taking me to Planned parenthood this week , to get me more birth control because I'm on my last pack but I also would like a pelvic exam . I know I can request that she's out of the room because I'm 17 but as far as whatever receipt papers could I ask whoever writes them not to write pelvic exam or anything like that on them?