I can’t orgasm

[EEllis]

Hi, ever since I was 11/12 I’ve been a very sexual person, I’ve masturbated, read smut and erotica and I watched plenty of bad porn, but I have never orgasm. I guess I just always thought it would happen eventually but I figured I needed a partner to do so. Years later I’ve been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend and we are both inexperienced and it just never happened, no matter what position we tried, what kink I introduced, nothing. I’m just very desperate to feel something… I bought my first sex toy and nothing, the second one a different kind, nothing and I’ve been trying to get there alone almost every time I get horny(basically everyday). I get this build up of pleasure and I feel it coming but then it just dies, its honestly so frustrating, sometimes my clit just gets super sensitive and I have to stop and other I just spend too much time and nothing happens so I give up, still horny. I would like to know if this is something I can work on or if there is anything I can do to actually get there.

[Sofi]

Hi EEllis, welcome to the boards!
It's actually very common for people to go through this, since it can take some trial and error to figure out what works for you to get to orgasm. The thing is, when someone is stressed about it, it makes it even harder to get there. So while there is not a one-answer-fits-all recipe, the number one tip is to relax and try to take pressure off the orgasm - see if you can keep trying new things and if you orgasm, great; if you don't that time, then that's okay you'll try again. There's an article on our site that might be really helpful, give it a read and let us know if you have any questions about it! Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide