Am I masturbating wrong?

[Texna23]

Hey
So I recently started masturbating early last year and it always feels good but what happens is while I masturbate, it feels good for a while(like a build up) and then I feel nothing, it has gotten really tiring. I don’t know what to do anymore, anytime I masturbate I just wait for that small period of feeling good and then I do something else. What do I do?

[Sam W]

Hi Texna23,

You know, it doesn't sound like you're masturbating "wrong" at all. For starters, there's not really a right or wrong way to masturbate, there's just the way(s) that feel good to you. But more than that, it sounds like you masturbate for the time it's pleasurable, and then stop when it stops feeling good. That's a really sound way of approaching it!

When you feel that build up, does it feel like it releases at any point, like Heather describes here when talking about orgasm: Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide?

[Texna23]

No it doesn’t feel like that. It just feels like a buildup and then nothing, I don’t even feel honey again after that. I also feel my idea of what an orgasm should feel like is highly based on porn. I feel like I should be having an orgasm like the ladies who get them in porn videos

[Sam W]

Got it. One thing to keep in mind is that plenty of orgasms in porn are fake, and the ones that aren't are still often exaggerated for the camera (you can read more about that here: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/poli ... tream_porn). Orgasms can look, and feel, a ton of different ways, some mild and some intense, and part of exploring your sexuality is learning how they look and feel for you.

Something that plays a big role in arousal and orgasm is how mentally turned on and engaged we feel during it. When you're masturbating, are you engaging with fantasies or sexual media in a way that's fun for you?