Scarleteen

Hi, I am a 20 year old college student that recently got a boyfriend within the last year. Because of my fear and opposition to becoming pregnant at this age (before my mid 20s),we both agreed to not have sex (penis entering vagina) until we were married. That is fine with him, and that is fine with me.

I am not against oral sex or fingering.

Sometimes when we do this, as of the last 4-5 months, I have had terrible anxiety around accidentally getting pregnant by his precum, even though we have never had intercourse and I am in fact a virgin. I am aware that the logic is iffy but that has yet to stop my mind from racing. I enjoy being physical with him in the ways that we are comfortable, but the slightest fear that any drop of precum got near my vagina gives me terrible anxiety.

My boyfriend came to my house and performed oral sex on me. With my history of anxiety, and general want for cleanliness, I make him wash his hands before he touches anywhere near there. But, sometimes we are in the heat of the moment, and following every strict rule just does not happen. He performed oral sex on me and used a finger inside of me multiple times that day. My fear is that at any point before he did so,when adjusting himself inside of his pants precum got on his finger, then got inside of me. My period is late this month and it is only adding on to the fear.

We HAVE NEVER had intercourse involving him entering me, but I know it is never impossible for cases like what I fear to happen. He tries to reassure me that I am not, and I’ve reached out to family. They do not understand that even with me thinking logically, the fear of being in the 0.1 percent is so strong that it doesn’t matter.

I just want to let go of this strange anxiety and to stop trying to remember every small detail of him performing oral sex on me. Should I worry?

We will not answer ANY questions about pregnancy fear or anxiety in our direct services from users who are not pregnant or who are not or have not otherwise been directly involved with an actual pregnancy.

Please do not post this kind of question. If you are seeing this text, and your thread is locked, it is because you have posted this kind of question.

We CAN and WILL talk about things like:
• choosing and using a method or methods of contraception for any future sexual activity
• creating your own sexual limits and boundaries based on your needs and/or presenting them to any partners
• making sexual choices that suit your own needs, abilities and limitations, including your own readiness for certain possible risks
• help locating or using emergency contraception if and when you have had a pregnancy risk
• discussing options with a real, existing pregnancy, and help finding and accessing those options, such as abortion services and pre-natal care, or discussing feelings or concerns about a past pregnancy
• help with anxiety like locating mental health services, sound self-help or asking for support from friends or family

For help dealing with a scare (including what poses a risk and your next steps based on your unique situation), you may use our tool on site built for this purpose: The Pregnancy Panic Companion.
For help with anxiety, click here.
For related help and information at Scarleteen, click here.
If you would like more information about this policy, click here.