Scarleteen

hii im new, sorry if this is in the wrong section- feel free to move it.

i'm prone to rambling, apologies if this gets rly lengthy/off topic or i forget to mention something

im 20 and never had any sort of partnered sex before; i've been wanting to masturbate as something of a mindful, self love act. but my recent discoveries have me to believe that im on the autistic spectrum with symptoms of adhd, and to top it all off, a cognitive impairment from having been an extreme case of a premature birth; im also currently unable to get a diagnosis for eiether of these.

i know the things that turn me on and the places that do, but even when im aroused, i find it difficult to "progress" further despite rubbing the head of my clit and the entrance of my vagina-- physically and mentally, etc i could be turned on but i quickly lose my focus and or i struggle keeping the fun thoughts in mind.

i've also noticed that i don't really get turned on from my physical touches; its not that i dont enjoy it, it just seems that sex is more of a mental/emotional thing for me rather than physical?


has/is anyone facing a similar dillema? i feel like i might be the only one with this peculiar issue so any sort of feedback on this will be greatly appreciated

Hi lsbn-doomslayr,

You're definitely not the first person to have this issue! Certain mental health things, including ADHD, can make it hard for someone to focus on sexual things, including masturbation. There may be a few different things you can try to address it. For starters, have you learned any self-management techniques to help with your focus running off? And is the inability to get a formal diagnosis due to practical things, like money, or something else?

What you're describing with arousal mainly being in your brain actually makes a lot of sense. Our brains are our biggest sexual organs, because all the things involved in sex (fantasies, hormones, sensory input, etc) runs through them. If they're not engaged, sex or masturbation is usually pretty blah, and a lot of people fine their arousal starts in their brains and then moves into their bodies.

Sam W wrote: ↑Sat Apr 30, 2022 8:55 am Hi lsbn-doomslayr,

You're definitely not the first person to have this issue! Certain mental health things, including ADHD, can make it hard for someone to focus on sexual things, including masturbation. There may be a few different things you can try to address it. For starters, have you learned any self-management techniques to help with your focus running off? And is the inability to get a formal diagnosis due to practical things, like money, or something else?

What you're describing with arousal mainly being in your brain actually makes a lot of sense. Our brains are our biggest sexual organs, because all the things involved in sex (fantasies, hormones, sensory input, etc) runs through them. If they're not engaged, sex or masturbation is usually pretty blah, and a lot of people fine their arousal starts in their brains and then moves into their bodies.

i've learned a few of management techniques; simple things like if my focus starts to wear off, to tell myself/my brain that i really want to focus on what im doing my inability to get a formal diagnosis is mostly because of money, and also a lack of insurance it's definitely a goal for me to get one though!

oh thanks! hmm so it might just be a matter of not being engaged/aroused enough?

I'd say it's definitely worth trying those same techniques during masturbation to see if they can help keep your focus where you want it to be right then! And yep, I suspect some of what may be going on for you is that if you're having trouble keeping focus or on keeping fun or arousing thoughts in your mind, masturbation may hit a point where the pleasure kind of decreases because your brain isn't as engaged in the arousal process.

If it'd help, we can also brainstorm some options for getting that diagnosis or treatment. We're not mental healthcare providers, but we can talk about what options are available or how to find ones that work for your budget.

Sam W wrote: ↑Sun May 01, 2022 9:15 am I'd say it's definitely worth trying those same techniques during masturbation to see if they can help keep your focus where you want it to be right then! And yep, I suspect some of what may be going on for you is that if you're having trouble keeping focus or on keeping fun or arousing thoughts in your mind, masturbation may hit a point where the pleasure kind of decreases because your brain isn't as engaged in the arousal process.

If it'd help, we can also brainstorm some options for getting that diagnosis or treatment. We're not mental healthcare providers, but we can talk about what options are available or how to find ones that work for your budget.

oh id really appreciate any help, thank u!

Do you mind sharing what city/country you're in so we can make some suggestions on finding a provider?