I think I have phimosis

[XX]

I am currently 14M (turning 15 this year) and I believe I have phimosis. While erect, I cannot see the head/tip of my penis. In case you don't know, phimosis is when you cannot pull back the foreskin past the glans. Currently, I do not have any problems while urinating or masturbating or anything like that. I've never experienced any problems with my penis before. Even though I haven't experienced trouble, I am still worried about phimosis.
Is it a bad thing?
Will it be uncomfortable/hurt during sex?
Will it be a major TURN OFF during intercourse?
Should I go through a procedure to remove the foreskin?
I'm going to be honest, one of the main reasons I'm kind of worried about phimosis is that its going to be a MAJOR TURN OFF during sex. I currently have a girlfriend who has brought up the topic about having an intercourse, but that is a different story. Can someone please answer the questions I listed above, much will be appreciated.
Thank you in advance for reading this/answering if you do!

[Carly]

Hey XX -- welcome to Scarleteen! We're happy to answer your questions but first I need a little more information from you. How do you know or how did you come to believe you have phimosis? Is this not being able to pull back your foresekin something you've always noticed, or is this new? In general, it's a little risky to self-diagnose - especially a condition like phimosis, which is sometimes caused by having an infection inside the foreskin. I highly recommend seeing a medical provider who can give you an exam and help figure out what your options are for treatment. Is this something you have access to?

To answer you questions --

Is it a bad thing?
Phimosis is not life-threatening, but it needs to be treated. So no, not a bad thing per se but it's important you figure out what's up, especially if you do need some kind of medical intervention. It's possible that you do not have the condition and this is just a physical difference, like how people's noses look different from one another. It sounds like investigating this further will ease some anxiety for you.

Will it be uncomfortable/hurt during sex?
It's my understanding that it may be uncomfortable for you to have sex. It appears to be a little individualized, as in some people don't experience it and some do. This would definitely be something to talk about with a medical provider.

Will it be a major turn-off during intercourse?
It's difficult to generalize the experience of being turned on or off, and it would be wrong to assume anything about how your girlfriend would feel about it. I think priority number one should be figuring out if you actually have phimosis and what the treatment plans are. You can share this health concern with her, or you can simply say you're not ready at the moment. There are plenty of ways you can have sex and be sexually intimate with her that don't use your penis, you can read about that here.

Should you go through with a procedure to remove the foreskin?
This is something you should definitely speak to a doctor about, as procedures like circumcision can alleviate phimosis and are commonly prescribed as a treatment. It may come down to your personal preference as well.

[XX]

Thank you for your answers!!!
I believe I have phimosis because I am not able to pull my foreskin back/past my glans. I was never circumcised and I've always had this and recently became worried about it. I've done research about this and people suggest doing "stretching exercises" with the foreskin to hopefully loosen the foreskin so the glans can be visible.
Should I practice/try stretching exercises to loosen the foreskin to hopefully fix IF I have phimosis?

[Sofi]

My suggestion is the same as Carly's, to see a medical professional before self-diagnosing or starting any treatment. My concern with stretching exercises off the internet is that they might not apply to your specific situation (be it phimosis or not), so they could cause more damage than good. It's best to be safe and get a check up at a doctor's office so you can have a professional opinion on what it is and how to treat or alleviate it.

[XX]

Alright, ill ask next time I have my physical (coming up this summer). Thank you for your help!!!

[Carly]

Hey XX -- sounds like a plan! Do you want to talk about anything related to you and your girlfriend's conversation about having sex soon?

[XX]

Ywa, and sure!
Also thought I might mention, today I told my parents about my issue with my foreskin. They took me to the store and bought me steroid cream so I'm going to be using that. Next time I go to the doctor I'm planning on hopefully getting a prescribed steroid cream.
Other than that, the topic of talking to my girlfriend about sex.
How should I ask her/tell her that I have excess foreskin? Or rather, how to ask if she's okay with me having excess foreskin? For the time being, I'm probably going to avoid trying to have an intercourse with her as its probably best just in case anything happens. Thank you in advance though! Much appreciated!

[Elise]

Hi XX, glad to hear that you're in a situation where you are able to flag an issue with your parents and ask questions about your health. I would say it would be better to go sooner rather than later, just to make sure that actually that this cream is a good idea before using it, and to get an actual diagnosis before using a new ointment on your penis. Particularly since this isn't effecting your experiences of urinating or masturbating, it might not be the best idea to introduce a new variable that may not be the correct course of action before a doctor recommends it (on the off chance the cream causes irritation to the sensitive skin of the penis and that could have been avoided).

In terms of speaking to your girlfriend about this when you do choose to have sex, I think you can frame it more as in what you might need to feel comfortable, rather than in the frame of whether she has an issue with how your body works. This could look like (using your own words that sound like you): "I wouldn't like to/feel comfortable doing [insert sexual act here], so how would you feel about us doing one or some of these [other sex acts] instead", or "I'm really glad we've decided to try being more physically intimate, when we do that, I need you to know that it would be physically uncomfortable for me to do [act(s) here] but I'm keen to try other things, what is something you'd like to do?".

We have a great article that goes through this kind of discussion step by step: Be a Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner.

Have a read, and then please feel free to add any questions, curiosities or thoughts that arise for you out of it here.