Is it ok to be myself in a relationship?

[sparklingstar]

It's not like I'm about to have a romantic relationship with anyone though, I'm just kinda curious about what people will think of me if I mainly talk about topics that I'm passionate about.

Some people used to find me boring because all I talk about is nerdy things that I love, such as languages and video games.

I know that I may be just be bumping into people that are not suitable for me, but I also read online that people don't really like to get to know about those nerdy topics in a romantic relationship...?

These thoughts are making me kinda anxious, not being able to talk to people about my true interests and coming up with topics that aren't my specialty just sounds so exhausting. Even talking to friends about those things sometimes make me a bit nervous because I'm afraid that I'll just bore them.

Or maybe I'm just thinking too much into this.

[Sam W]

Hi hiImcrocheting,

I feel confident saying that you can absolutely be someone who's interested in, and likes to talk about, nerdy things and find a relationship where you're able to do so. Not only are there plenty of people who share those interests, but in my experience something that contributes to a happy relationship is a willingness, or even enjoyment, of listening to a partner talk about things that interest them, even if they don't interest you.

Too, it can help to remember that conversations in relationships (not just romantic ones) are a matter of give and take. So, you have space to talk about things that interest you, but the other person has them too. And when the conversation moves towards topics that aren't your thing, curiosity can be a big help. Asking people questions about a thing they like can help them feel listened to and strengthen the connection between you.