Fat Fetish at 14

[Fraggl9204]

Hi, I am 14-going-on-15-years old, and I have a fat fetish that I'm having a bit of trouble dealing with. For some backstory: for as long as I can remember, I have found fat characters to be powerfully attractive; I'd get an erection just about every time I saw one. And a little while after I turned 13, I made a Twitter account for the first time and almost instantly got recommended a weight gain/fat fetish art account. This was the first time I'd seen art like that, and it felt amazing at first and was a big turn on for me, but soon I began to wonder if it was "safe" or "okay" to look at that kind of stuff after seeing that multiple other accounts that posted fat fetish art had marked themselves as "NSFW" or "18+". I kept looking at fat fetish art on whatever non-18+ accounts I could find and continued to feel a bit anxious and slightly ashamed, like if the artist knew I was looking at their art then they'd get angry or upset, or my Internet Service Provider would find out and cut off my internet. Now that I'm 14, I've stopped looking at fat fetish art for now, but it's still hard to get these thoughts out of my head; I know I'm pretty young and I know I can't control these desires, so I've been trying to manage them in a healthy way. With that said, does anyone have any tips or advice for managing these thoughts? The only ideas I've had so far are to talk about it with my friends or write these thoughts out.

[Sam W]

Hi JohanHusky,

I think stepping back from looking at those accounts was a sound call, given that it was making you feel anxious and guilty. When you say you're looking for help managing "these thoughts" in a healthy way, can you say a little more about what those thoughts are and what your attempts to manage them look like so far?

[Fraggl9204]

I would struggle with dissociating/zoning out and think about weight gain; imagining characters being fed, gaining weight etc... I would manage these thoughts mostly by discussing them with close friends my age who I could trust. It's been 6 months since my original post (apologies for the late reply here by the way), and since then talking about it with friends has helped me get these thoughts under control. I've stopped doing that though, both because I don't need that as an outlet for my thoughts any more and because I no longer want to share those thoughts with friends.

The main issue that persists is the desires. I still feel the desire to look at fat fetish art, it's not overwhelming and I can keep from acting on it but it's like a near constant low lying restless feeling. I only 15 and virtually every one of the fat fetish spaces I have seen has understandably been or become marked as NSFW/18+. I'd like to find a healthy and age-appropriate outlet for these desires/energies (if such things exist) so that it becomes more tolerable until I'm old enough to actually act on said desires, because dealing with at least 3 more years of feeling like this sounds like a lot. Again, I can handle it, but I'd also like to find any coping strategies/outlets that might make it easier.

I also don't feel guilty or ashamed about it any more, but I still avoid following fat fetish accounts on social media because of the same sorta irrational anxiety.

[Sam W]

Hi AnonymousTeen20,

I'm glad to hear the boundaries you've set with yourself about what content to follow seem to be helping with the overall anxiety. With needing an age appropriate outlet for these desires, what if you tried your hand at creating your own art or writing about these topics? That would be a way of engaging with them that happened on your terms while still allowing you to explore those fantasies.

[Fraggl9204]

I did try making my own art a bit to process those desires. It sort of helped, I didn’t go super deep into it though. I dabbled very lightly in writing but couldn’t really get into it. But there’s certainly more room to experiment in drawing; I’ll give it a chance to see if it can serve as a good outlet for that stuff. Thank you!

[Sam W]

You're very welcome!