Scarleteen

So I’m bisexual and non-binary and afab. I’ve had sex with cis men before and penetration went surprisingly well. Didn’t hurt or anything at all.

For masturbation however.. Clitoral stimulation is good, and so is about two fingers inside. However i bought a dildo and lube (so it isn’t a lubricant issue) and burns / feels like someone is splitting me. It feels embarrassing that i can’t even fit about 3 inches when i’ve had sex with guys with 7 inches with no issue.

Am i doomed ?? I’m so confused.

Hi there lilfrog, and welcome to Scarleteen.

One of the key components of any kind of vaginal entry is feeling very relaxed and aroused; it sounds like that's been no problem with partners in the past, but it's possible that you're attempting to use your toy before you're feeling aroused enough for entry to feel good or easy. I don't know what your time masturbating looks like, but it may be worth spending more time on other activities first.

Also, keep in mind that you may be using a toy larger than your previous partners have been; differences in thickness can make a lot of difference, here. And some people find that firmer toys feel a lot different than someone's penis or fingers, which have a bit more give to them.

I don't think what you're experiencing is a sign of anything bad or a problem on your part! What I'd suggest is to take things slow and be aware of factors like the size and texture of your toy. It isn't at all unusual for it to take a little while to get used to how a particular toy feels, even if you've had intercourse with other people before.